Choice
by FullstopBlaster
Summary: Raped and hiding the fact he's carrying mirage goes into the mountains to birth the child alone, and leave it to die. He's found before he has the chance and can't figure out what to do with himself after he's made the choice to move on. MPREG. Raj X UM
1. Choice

Choice

* * *

Dedicated with much love to Borath.

This is a one shot that will not be continued.

Please read and review and I will do my best to answer all reviews.

Rated M for MATURE

MPREG – Mention of Rape.

If you don't like this do not read this.

* * *

_ I do not know if what I do is for the right reasons. I guess every mech struggles with this at some point in life. However I feel it weigh heavy now on my spark, a pang of hurt and regret I cannot express or alleviate. My pride I suppose. I don't want this, I don't want to be here right now. I cannot do this._

_ My tanks churn and I lurch forward. I grasp my servo against the rock face of the mountain I am currently situated on and I wait. I know why I've run, why I've chosen this place. No one would find me. No one will know. Perhaps I will die. I turn lifting a servo over my mouth but it does not stop it, my servo falls and I purge against the rock face._

_ I left a datapad telling them all not come looking for me, that, I have my reasons for leaving like this. I need to be alone as ascend. I hate myself, for what I am doing, for running. I hate what's happening to my body; something I cannot run from anymore or deny._

_ Fighting the urge to purge again; my servo clamps down against my chassis and I hiss as the pain deepens. I move slowly up but find I won't be going much farther, I can feel the seals breaking in my chassis and the lubricants leaking out between the plates lets me know; I will never reach the top. _

_ Looking up I see a ledge; with a force of will, I didn't know I had left; I pull myself up to it, finding a rock overhang. It's not as good as a cave, but it will protect me, hide me from view. It will keep me covered while I birth the child I never wanted to Sire in the first place. I groan again moving to stand and stagger over to the outcrop moving under it. I trip getting there, but crawl down to take shelter. _

_ With a hiss and a pop; my chassis opens slowly from the left side I feel my bumper splitting in two and craning up over my shoulder joints, the lower panels pull down and wrap around my hips. I'm flying blind right now having no idea what I'm doing. I search every databank I have for the proper files and I just cannot find them. I moan and lay back against a large rock surprised it holds my weight. I never asked for this, I was never given a choice._

_ The field around the child within me spikes and I open my mouth, a silent scream, my intakes gasp, the labor program is in full swing and my body prepares to eject my youngling into the world. A world that I don't want it to see, and I don't want this world to see it either. I struggle with myself, and wonder if I have the courage of my convictions to kill it. I hate myself, more and more as the moments pass by._

_ Another surge and I lower my head to my chassis. I wish ratchet were here, but I know I cannot ask for his help in this, I cannot ask for anyone's help. I scream now as the plates shift almost forcing the being out of myself but I know my body will not eject it just yet, I can still feel my systems attached, when they release I will know I have to grab it from my chassis. I can feel the instinct; I know where to place my hands as another scream erupts from my vocalizer._

_ I have kept it hidden for months now, and I fear I won't be able to keep it hidden much longer. I feel my tank churn and turn purging what's left of the energon in my system out onto the dry ground. Laying back my servo wipes my mouth and I groan my optical shields shutter twice and energon floods over my optics. I can feel the excess running down my facial plates as I cry. I moan and lurch forward suddenly feeling the swell of pain again._

_ "Here! I found him!" I turn my head and see Prime coming up over the ledge. Our optics meet for a moment and I seal mine shut and turn my head away. I am flooded with sheer panic right now. The fact I cannot do what I had come to do. Birth the child, and kill it. "RATCHET! FIRST AID!" he calls out. I want to close my optics and have him disappear I wish everyone would disappear."Everyone else stay down there." He's rushing to my side now a hand sliding behind me supporting my body. I look up at him apathy in my optics._

_ "Mirage." He says my name with a quiet reprimand. "Why did you not tell us?" I open my mouth to speak but turn away from him to purge again. The purge hurts worse than my chest as nothing comes up. "RATCHET!" prime's voice is loud and desperate as he pleads for our medic. "We need you NOW!"_

_ Soon I'm surrounded. Ratchet is to my left, Prime to my right, and First Aid sits at my stabilizers. They kneel around me as I lay in a pool of lubricant and energon. Ratchet curses. "Primus…He's birthing…" he said and turned "Get something clean to put the little one in…I don't care if it's a plastic tub…I need something go…" He pushed Aid away, and I watched the small mech as he gives me a sideways look; disbelief. They don't know what they are seeing but they know it's true, the way Ratch is acting I know he's handled this situation before now. I pray to Primus for safety._

_ Ratchet looks into my optics and I shake my head. "Ok Mirage you're doing great, I just need to start moving lines, and it's going to feel uncomfortable." He looks up at Optimus motioning his servo. "Hold him upright I need to get a better view." Optimus scoots my body upward and I lean back against his chassis, he's holding me. "Here we go I know you're not ready Mirage but we don't have a choice…severing main connection pin. This little one is ready to come out….come on kid…" As the pin fails I feel the tubes detract from metal chamber the child is in. I hear a chatter of noise as my body releases the being from within me._

_ I grit my dent and scream, finding it distracting as I feel the tug against my systems. "It's out!" Ratchet announces pulling the wet mass into his servos. My hud flashes red, I can't stay awake anymore. As my body falls into recharge, I think I'm glad they found me I could not have done this on my own. If I had I would never have survived. Question is ..in my fading core...do I even want to live?  
_

_

* * *

_

He sat beside the berth holding the small femme in his hands. Her purring and chirping sounds making him smile softly. "You're sire will be fine…" He tells her slowly running a large digit over her black and blue helm. The smile on the medic's face is an old soft one. Saved only for patients like this.

The little femme's tiny servo reached up fumbling to grab onto the large green digits before her. The smile of the mech holding her; fascinated her as she blinked her optical shields making soft chirring sounds grasping at the digits with her small servos. "How is she?" Prime's voice broke the quiet of the medical bay. Turning the chair around to face the door Ratchet smiled.

"Perfect Prime she's absolutely a perfect femme." Ratchet did not stand he merely looked up to the leader who knelt down beside the chair.

"And Mirage?"

"I've repaired most of what I could of his systems…I'll bring him back online in a little while." Ratchet said softly.

"Do we know who the creator is?" Optimus asked.

"That would be a question for Mirage…I'm not at liberty to say even if I knew…" Ratchet trailed off optics returning to the small creature in his arms "Have you informed the others of his condition?"

"Not yet…I am debating whether to do so or not." Prime sighed. "I don't understand why he felt the need to run."

"Perhaps the creator is among us?" Ratchet looked up and shrugged. He didn't know and that was his way of telling Prime how to go about asking. Optimus looked down at the femme whose optics shifted to look up at him. Her intake hissed and Prime's optics blinked directly at Ratchet; full of concern. "She's fine still expelling the fluid from her vents…" Ratchet reached up a small rag and ran along her main vents and rubbed the lubricant away that was flowing from her mouth. "She'll be free of it in a day or so." He smiled down at her.

"Mirage is?" Prime broached the question quietly.

"He's fine as I expressed before, his systems were just over taxed I am surprised he carried her as long as he did without us knowing, and carrying is not easy." Ratchet intoned "Femmes have an easier time but I've seen mechs like Ironhide carry and not be able to keep the composure that mirage seemed to hold around us."

"I agree…" Prime said "Why was he keeping it secret?" Prime stood and setting his servo on his hips he looked to Ratchet again "Perhaps he did not know, or was not aware."

Ratchet stood clutching the small femme to his chassis "It is unlikely that he would not have known…." He said smoothly. "He was in discomfort for most of the time I'm certain…if not in outright pain." Ratchet shrugged slowly and stepped forward offering the femme to Prime. "He never once came to me, for pain issues or discomfort….he had to have known…he just hid it well behind that noble pride of his."

Optimus lifted her up in his hands and pulled her to his chassis against the glass. The femme touched the chrome lining the glass and chirred at it. Seeing a warped reflection of herself in the chrome she batted at it softly with her little black servos.

"She likes you." Ratchet smiled and turned to Mirage. "He needs more time to recover. I won't wake him just yet and I'll keep her here near him for now."

Prime's nod was slow as he kept his optics focused on the youngling in his hands. He smiled down at her and she looked up at him rolling back in his palm grasping once again at his fingers. "Hello little one." Prime's voice was soft as his finger trailed over her torso. "Welcome home." Was all he said as she chirped up at him stabilizers and servos wiggling.

* * *

_As my optics open I know exactly where I am. "Where is it?" I try to sit up but a hand forces me back down. "Where is it?" I repeat._

_ "Your little one is safe." Ratchet ties to assure me, but I am far from assured. I groan trying to shift up to a more comfortable position my chassis burns. "I know I'll get you something for the discomfort." He turns moving towards a berth secluded away from mine. Above it hangs nuts and bolts tied by little wires. Lifting his hand he strokes the small objects and they start to move. He walks away from the berth to retrieve what he was after. _

_ As I sit up I can see my young, resting in a clear containment berth, little black and blue. Its hands trying grasp at the tiny nuts and bolts strung up over it, just out of reach; that Ratchet has set into motion. I look down and sigh resting back and I just stare at it. I don't know what to do, what to say, or how to explain myself. I don't even know if I want it at all. All the fear and pain starts to flood into myself and I seal my optics closed. I was going to kill it. I still don't know how to feel, and this cold indifference makes me feel less like an Autobot. _

_ "Here we go." Ratchet returns to my side and holds a cube to me. "This should make you feel slightly better…I've gave you something about an hour ago to help alleviate the stirring in your tanks. I want you to drink this slowly and try to keep it down." I shift and take the cube in my hands. I look at it and frown. The color is slightly off, and this doesn't make me want to drink it at all._

_ "It's purified mid grade you need it so drink it." Ratchet instructed and I watch him turn going back to the youngling to lift it up in his arms. I lift the cube to my mouth and drink a sip; it's all I can manage before setting the cube down beside me. The taste is strong. Ratchet walks over holding the youngling pressed to his chassis._

_ Standing beside me he turns and I roll my head to face it. "She's beautiful Mirage." He tells me, as his optics lock onto her; now I know that it is a femme. I wonder quietly what to call her, and decide I can't make that decision right now. I shake my head at him but look him in the optics, I feel awful and I'm not in the mood to look at it. I don't want it. I need to say it, why can't I say it. "Well…" Ratchet back tracks to set her back in her containment berth. "We'll work on that later huh?" He's clearly talking to her and not me. His finger trails down her body and she wiggles. I turn away. As he returns to my side he motions to the cube "drink more." He instructs and I groan._

_ "Ratch…I can't." I say "I'll purge." It's the truth. _

_ Ratchet sighs and nods "Not uncommon after a separation." He says softly. "She however…is healthy as a petro rabbit." He smiled and pulled a stool up to my berth. I lay back and sigh. I know its coming that question. "How do you feel?" Well, it's not the question I was expecting._

_ "Tired." I voice softly. "Sore…Like I'm going to purge…"_

_ "She took a lot out of you and you did a damn good job not letting anyone see it." He says "Why hide it?" He leans forward on the berth and folds his hands under his helm, just a casual conversation._

_ "I don' tknow…" I say looking away trying to hide the truth. "I didn't think anyone would listen…I just wanted to forget." _

_ "You don't want her?" he shrugged his question even almost in disbelief._

_ I close my optics I hate this question "I am not sure…I don't feel I am sufficiently prepared." I say softly; again covering up the truth._

_ "And running to the mountains…to birth her there" He sighs softly touching my servo. "…were you planning to leave her?" there was no malice in his voice or the accusation that I had gone to abandon her. I cringe at the statement, he's caught me."Or did you just not have any idea what you were doing?"_

_ "I don't know." I say softly turning my head "Ratch I was…" I'm distressed now it's eating at my spark. "Ratch…I …" I can't explain myself not right now._

_ "Frightened I know." Ratch slides his understanding servo to my forearm. "Who's the sire?" He got to the question I feared would have been his first. I close my eyes and shake my head. "You won't tell me?" I shake my head again. "Don't expect Prime to accept that answer Mirage." He says and I shutter my optics shaking my head. I hate myself I hate myself. I feel the urge to purge and feel the churn in my tank. His grasp on my arm tightens and I open my optics facing him "You are going to be alright." Ratchet smiles patting my shoulder. "If this is not something you can handle …we'll work something out." His optimism scares me, and I turn away from him. I can't hide my shame; I note my cloaking device has been deactivated. He's not blaming me for not saying more, but I blame myself, I can't even tell them all the truth._

_ "I should never have come to earth." I say softly regret floods my vocals._

_ "Well….drink a few more sips of that and try to get some real recharge." He instructs and I nod rolling my head to the side. In the periphery of my vision I can see him pick her up and hold her, he turns leaving me in peace taking her out of the medical ward, and it's hard for me to focus. I take a few more sips of the bitter energon before I set the cube down. I can't drink anymore, and my systems fall into recharge; It does seem the only safe haven._

_

* * *

_

Ratchet strode through the command center on his way to the conference room. "Ratch?" Ironhide stopped him moving to his side. "That what I think that is?" The black mech looked down into the hummer's hands.

Ratchet nodded; "Come on I'll explain in the briefing room." Ratchet looked down at the little one cradled in his arm she held onto a single servo digit as he walked and she mouthed the tip of it. Ratchet looked at Ironhide as they walked. "A gift from Primus himself she is so beautiful."

"S'that what all the mess with Mirage was about?" Ironhide looked down into the medics arms. "Hey …" he smiled touching the femme's helm with his blunt index digit. "Oh she's a sparkbreaker ain't she?" Ironhide smiled and pulling his servo back. "Look at those optics…bluer than the sea." He chuckled "one lovely little lady…" He looked up and opened the conference room door allowing Ratchet entrance first.

"She sure is Ironhide." Ratchet looked up meeting Prime's gaze as they stepped over the threshold. "She sure is." Prime crossed the distance toward Ratchet and motioned him to sit in the chair at the head of the table; Prime's chair.

Sitting down slowly, ratchet smiled, holding the small femme in his arms; braced against his chassis they could see her small helm, back, and her servos that clung tightly to the roll bar on the medic's chest. Her blue and black coloring was highlighted by the lights in the room. "Alright…down to business." Optimus said rounding the table. "Mirage left base without permission and headed into the rocky mountains." Prime opened the map to the main view screen behind ratchet. "Unfortunately what happened after that is unusual to say the least. Prowl and I have decided that for the betterment of Mirage, we are dismissing this incident. Ratchet has the remainder of the information."

Ratchet spun the chair back to face everyone "This …little beauty belongs to Mirage. He is her sire." Ratchet held up his servo as servos around the table began to rise. "Let me finish." He smiled looking down at her. "She has no name yet, and Mirage has not said who the creator is." He stood and turned so those gathered at the table could view her better. "A femme…" he smiles. "When there is more information I will let you all know …for now Stay out of medical's recovery ward, Mirage is having a very tough time right now, and until his emotional well being can be sorted out I've asked for no visitors. I will be keeping Mirage and his daughter there for now. Until other arrangements are worked out."

Optimus glanced around the room slowly. "Are we clear?" He asked looking around the table at the group of mechs and femmes who all gave curt nods. "There's nothing more right now, you are all dismissed, report to you superiors." He said softly and turned to Ratchet. Ratchet and Optimus watched the bots leaving. Some of them were smiling and talking about her already, others just left to go about their days. Prowl walked up to Prime with a curt nod.

"Sir" Prowl nodded "Ratchet." He turned his head to the medic and then focused back on Prime.

Smiling Optimus turned and looked down at his second. "Yes?"

Prowl handed a datapad to Prime. "Duty roster sir….I have already taken Mirage off his normal patrols...I'll stick Smokescreen on them for now." He smiled and looked at the femme. "Hello." He nodded to the child but said nothing else to her.

Optimus looked over the list before signing off and handing the datapad back. "there you are…thank you prowl."

Ratchet looked up at Prime with serious optics as Prowl made his way out of the room. "We need to discuss Mirage." Ratchet sat back down in Prime's chair and Optimus took the seat beside it. "He's fine, physically but emotionally I'm not sure if he's ready for her…I have a sneaking suspicion he was going into the mountains to leave her to die."

"What are we to do?" Optimus asked softly reaching out taking the little femme out of Ratchet's hands. Her vents yawned and Optimus pressed her to his chassis. "He doesn't want her?"

"I'm not sure…he's confused for sure, he says he doesn't know what he wants, and he won't give up the name of the Creator." Ratchet shifted drawing one leg up over the other leaning back crossing his arms over his Torso. "I'm more than worried about him…this doesn't feel right…I've never seen a Male Sire…or a Female creator not want their young….lest ….they weren't given a choice in the matter."

Optimus nodded figners playing with the small femme as she tried to grasp on to them. A digital cry when she could not. Optimus smiled and gave the finger to her freely, this silenced her and she clung to it before drawing it close to mouth it quietly. "I am worried about the both of them." Optimus said softly. "Would you like me to speak with Mirage?"

"You or Jazz would be best." Ratchet smiled. "Someone, anyone, …he just doesn't want to talk to me." Ratchet shook his head and sunk back in his chair "Got himself plugged and didn't want to deal with it so he pretended he wasn't …and now…" Ratchet didn't need to go on.

"Despite how Mirage feels the little one will need a name, and to be cared for." Optimus said firmly.

"I am going to handle her care for now Optimus, she's very small and medical is the best place for her now, but when she gets bigger I can't." Ratchet sighed.

"I understand my friend." Optimus noted. With a sigh Optimus stood still holding the youngling to his chassis. "Perhapse if you let him feed her…something anything …" he suggested "At least have him pick a name…we cannot continue to call her Little one." The leader sighed quietly and smiled watching her in his hands, she was already wrapped around his spark.

"I'll see what I can do…I can't make promises, he still won't look at her." Ratchet said "However to do that..." Ratchet stood up and stepped forward. "you must give her back to me." A quirk of a smile played of the medic's lips "Softy." Optimus smiled at the jab and nodded.

"I suppose I am." With his final statement he relinquished the femme back to the medic's waiting arms and watched them leave. He wondered for a moment what would become of them all, what was going to happen. This was the last thing he expected to have to deal with amongst his ranks. Turning he hit his comm. "Jazz will you join me in the conference room please?"

"Sure Prime …on my way." Jazz's extra chipper voice was the response he met and prime took his seat to await the arrival of his third in command.

* * *

_I don't feel the pain I felt before as my optics come online; sitting up quickly I look around. "Whoa Raj.." I turn my head and see Jazz sitting beside me his hands pressing my chassis back to the berth."Yer not ready for that." _

_ "Sir." I nod slowly laying back as instructed._

_ "How do ya feel?" he's got a smile on his face and his presence brings me peace. We've been friends a long time, he's my senior officer._

_ "Like hot slag." I say softly than lay back exasperated "Primus when can I go back to my quarters?"_

_ "When you and the lil'one are ready…you aren't ready." I turn my head to him. "You really should hold her once." He says to me and I turn my head back to face the ceiling. I'm going to purge. "She's beautiful…kissed by Primus himself." I look back at him and nod._

"_Fine…" I cave anything to get him to shut up, it's just holding her right, that can't be all bad. I'm still scared as pit to even consider it._

"_Excellent." He's excited as he turns to the small containment berth beside mine. I watch as he carefully lifts her out and moves to lay her against my chassis. She's recharging and I lift my hand holding it over her back so she doesn't' slide. "There ya go." Jazz smiles at me "She's so beautiful." Though my hand is on her he's petting her helm with his finger and I just don't know what's wrong with me, why I don't feel anything for her. I don't love her like I should, honestly I could care less._

_ "You all keep saying that…" my voice is broken and I don't know how to feel looking down at her, she looks so much like myself, and the creator; it's a wonder they haven't guessed the sire by just looking at her. I sigh and so does she. I don't believe she's beautiful, I think she's horrid._

_ "Hey this is something you have to face man; you can't just run from it." Jazz's words sear into my mind and I shake my head. I want to lash out at him but I don't._

_ "I'm not ready for this." I say softly shaking my head trying to offer her back to him._

_ "No one is…usually." Jazz smiles as he touches her small servos. He holds her to my body and I can feel her spark beating against my own, they are almost synced. "We're all here to help ya man." Jazz flashes that smile "Promise." I don't want to listen to this slag anymore._

_ I sigh softly "I'm so scared…I can't do this…get it off me." _

_ "Sure ya can." He chuckles laying his head down on the berth watching her small form and still petting her. "how about we start with a name for the lady?" He's not removing her._

_ "I don't want to name it." I say firmly. _

_ "Fraid to get attached huh?" Jazz asked and I nod. I am not going to lie to him, I'm scared to pit. He waves his hands "Ok better idea…I'll get a list of names from everyone on board…kay..and we'll choose the best name from that list…that way…everyone is helping and has a say."_

_ "I uh." Anything to get him to take it off me and leave me alone. "Alright…I'll choose from a list." I say softly just to shut him up._

_ "I'll help you…." He smiles "we'll figure this all out little lady I promise." He tells her with such honesty._

_ "Really take it now I cannot do this." I utter and slide her toward him across my chassis. "I just…can't"_

_ Jazz nods quietly lifting her up against his chassis and he stands holding her "keep calling her 'it'." He frowns and takes a deep intake of air. I know when my commanding officer is mad, and he's madder than the pit right now. Jazz moves setting her down in her berth upon her torso plate._

_Turning back to me with worried optics and I know I've been had. His face is serious as he folds his arms across his chest "you were forced." It's a statement but also his realization of the truth. I choke and look away energon starting to stream out my optics._

_ "Jazz." I hold up a hand and try to stop him."I don't want to talk about-"_

_ "Who forced her on you?" jazz is livid and I seal my optics shut and shake my head. I feel my tanks fighting me, guilt, oh the guilt._

_ "No…" I won't answer I can't and my body temp rises setting off alarms on the medical berth. Ratchet storms in from his office. Rushing to my side checking my vitals, I seal my optics shut, to block them both out. I wish I was dead. I want to die._

_ "Alright calm down." He orders and I panic I can't look at either of them. I struggle on the berth unable to keep still._

_ "Mirage!" jazz says "WHO WAS IT?" he demands servos grasping my shoulders pressing me down onto the berth._

_ "JAZZ THAT'S ENOUGH!" Ratchet is sedating me I can feel it and my hud flashes red again and I fall into recharge. I hear the femme chirr but nothing more as blackness over takes me, I see his face, it's Creator's face; I wish I was dead._

_

* * *

_

Ratchet sighed as Mirage went offline. "What was that for!" he demanded. "He's in enough distress without you coming in here screaming at him…"

Jazz's smile is gone and the serious face that Ratchet now perceives gives him the slightest hint of fear. "He was raped." The words roll off the spy's vocalizer like a knife in the air. Turning to look sadly down at the youngling as she slept, he wondered who could have done this to Mirage. "No wonder he doesn't want her…or feel like she's his." Jazz frowned and reached down lifting the little one back up in his arms and turning her recharging face to meet his optics. "But that isn't your fault little lady…no…that isn't your fault."

Ratchet's plates paled. "Optimus and I were trying not to think that was what was going on." ratchet sighed and lowered his head optics drawn down to the floor as the next question is asked. "When do you think it happened?"

"I'm not sure…but we're going to find out…get me your best medical guess as to when she was sparked." Ratchet nodded and turned moving back to his office. Jazz lifted his comm. "Prime and Prowl to medical ASAP." He said over his comm. He got confirmation pings from both and waited holding the blue and black beauty in his hands against his chassis. "Primus this is all slagged up now."

* * *

Ratchet never felt his office could feel any smaller than it did right now. Optimus had his head down contemplating the statement from Jazz. Prowl hand a servo over his mouth and was unable to speak. Jazz leaned against the door to the office and sighed "I don't know what to do Boss bot." The femme was clutched to Jazz's chassis still. Holding onto him in her recharge against his warm spark.

"Ratchet?" Optimus looked up.

"I don't know Prime …on Cyberton the little one would be taken to the hatchery and given to a family….the only thing I can suggest is that we send Mirage to another Autobot outpost."

"And what of the femme?" Prowl asked "We're at war…"

"She's safe here…" Ratchet said "We'll figure something out."

Prowl looked up "I may know who the creator is…"

Optimus blinked "and how would you know something like that?"

"She looks like Doubledealer…" he sighs "Remember said he would fight for us, then the cons offered him big guns and he flip-flopped sides?"

Ratchet's optics widened "her helm…"

"She's blue and black and is the Spitting image of Doubledealer." Prowl said standing forward he looked at all of them. "First off, we're going to remove the Femme from Mirage…he's troubled enough …and she's not helping him heal, she's making it worse for him, he's reliving it every time he sees her."

"Agreed and done." Ratchet didn't need to be told twice.

"Second…we're gonna get in touch with Ultra Magnus, Ratch is right she is safer here, so we'll send Mirage to Magnus; he can protect him and has the compassion to deal with this kind of thing."

Optimus nodded "Agreed." He looked at the three around him not sure where to go next.

"I think we should call her WildWake." Jazz smirked moving onto a happier ideal.

"No." Ratchet held up his hand "Absolutely not."

Optimus smiled "Crosshair?" he asked and met with Prowls shaking head.

"Perhapse we should wait." Prowl suggested.

Ratchet stepped forward and sighed looking out the Plexi wall to the small berth where Mirage lay. "Slickdrift."

The other three mechs looked at each other "Slick…"Jazz smirked and it swelled into a smile. "Not bad Ratchet…" Jazz looked down to the femme in his hands a finger sliding over her helm. "Slickdrift." He smiled. "We going glyph her now or later?"

Ratchet laughed "I'll put the glyphs for that name on her later." He smirked "once we find a parental unit." He says "Who would also get her Glyph and she the partents." He said walking up to Jazz touching her helm. "She's so small." Ratchet frowned. "Who will it be?"

"Not I." Prowl backed up leaving Ratchet Jazz and Optimus standing in the middle of the room. Ratchet stepped back.

"I care for the youngling but I am always needed here…I can watch her but I cannot take full care of her." He admitted.

Optimus and Jazz looked at one another blankly. "Prime I …"

Optimus held out his hands taking her from Jazz to clutch against himself. "I could never say no... to an Autobot." he said cutting off Jazz's speech. "I will care for her. That said, However, I will need help from all of you." He said, and every head nodded.

"Yes sir." Prowl said. "Shall I come up with a schedule?"

"You'd do it even if I didn't ask." Prime smiled and held her up closer to the glass of his chassis. Her optics fluttered but she stayed in recharge mouthing at his fingers that rested against her torso. A servo digit running across her helm. "Slick…" He said affectionately. "Why do I have a feeling this name is going to be a cause for problems later?"

Prowl lifted his datapad already typing out schedules "Don't know Prime, but she's already wrapped around your servos." He smirked as he made his way out the door. Jazz backed up following him away leaving Ratchet and Optimus.

"Well….welcome to parenthood Prime….let me hook you up with some information and data files. You've never had one so young before…" Ratchet said turning to his desk.

"That would be …beneficial." Optimus nodded looking down at her recharging form and wondering if this was one of his better ideas or the worst one yet.

The small being moved in his palm turning her face to him her optics fluttered open and she chirred softly up at him. "Hello Slick….I'm your Sire." He replied softly lifting her up closer to his face to look her over more carefully. "I promise to protect you, defend you, and care for you…and you…" Knowing full well the child didn't know what was going on either way; he voiced his mind. "And you….are wanted."


	2. Letting Go

**Choice**

**Chapter two: Letting go**

**You asked for more…. Here it is.**

* * *

_Signing the data-pad; I nod as it's withdrawn from me. I have signed away the spark I brought into this world. This was the last thing to do before I left. Before I leave to be on my own._

_I look back at the four crates filled with my belongings. "Thank you Mirage, you do me a great service." I look back up at Prime and nod sadly. I have nothing to say about the ordeal I've been through. I barely speak anymore. His hand finds my shoulder and I reach up touching it. I seal my optics a moment and shake my head._

"_If it had been any other way…" I say as if it's some kind of excuse for the way I feel. Like I know I should feel bad for abandoning it, but I don't. It has to be this way. For my own sake; for hers as well she will never question if I'm gone. She will never have to know of a sire that could not be with her. _

"_I know." The tone in his voice is one of understanding. "You will always be welcome back at any time, to be with us, to see her." He says and I shake my head. I hold up a servo at him and speak freely because I know that's what he would wish of me._

"_She may have part of my code, but she's not mine." I say softly trying to hide the hurt in my vocals. "Insomuch as she has none of your code and you will love her." I take my hand back and step forward. Prime and I have been talking for weeks concerning the child I birthed, and what was to happen to her and I. He has no malice what so ever towards me when we speak, I wish he would, it would make this feel a whole lot easier. If he was angry with me I could be resentful back and leave with no care in the world. Prime is casual as always. He never would blame me for leaving, nor if I ever chose to come back. _

_Letting out a sigh I reach down grabbing one of my crates with two steady servos. Looking around the room with bleary eyes, I'm glad to be rid of this place too. This is where it happened; I won't tell them all that but it was here in this place near the space bridge. I stare blankly at the table that I had been pressed over. I had asked for it, and once it was done, and he was gone. I wished I never had. "Safe Journey Mirage…" He says and I turn broken from my thoughts. I salute; it's all I can think to do._

"_Sir…" I say firmly. "Permission to disembark to join Ultra Magnus' team?"_

"_Permission granted." He gives me a smile and a nod. I turn and leave him and the ship behind; moving the other three crates onto the spacebridge with care. I look up and wonder if what I do is the right thing. I need to get away from this I want to forget it ever happened. Humans would lock a female away and force them to face this, but our kind is different. We deal with these situations personally, and no one can tell another how they should feel, or be repaired._

_When Prime gave me the option to go to Alexia to work under Ultra Magnus I leapt at the chance. Signing the small hatchling into his care, I leave. Prime will be a good sire, one that I could never be. Honestly I don't want to be a sire. I'll never let my spark fall for something like this again. Ever. _

_Standing alone with my crates I nod to Wheeljack who stands near Prime ready to activate the bridge. "I am prepared." I say holding a small gold box in my hands, a delivery from Prime to Magnus. _

"_Activating bridge now, Initiating jump coordinates locked in." Wheeljack says "Say hi to Percepter for me." And with the flash of light, I'm gone. Leaving this primus-forsaken planet behind me._

_

* * *

_

I've met this one before. I tell myself softly looking down "Transfer Complete Magnus." Perceptor says from my side. "Opening side doors."

"Thank you Perceptor that will be all." I say and the red mech bows his head once, logging off the console moving away. I wait a moment and take a step forward. "Mirage is it?" I ask as he steps through the doors looking up at me. Smoke from the bridge's jump pooling around his pedes.

"Yes sir." He salutes and I motion my hand toward him slowly. I hate formality. This mech isn't even green and he's saluting like a first Solar Cycle grunt.

"At ease soldier…." I smile looking down Prime said he would find a way to thank me for taking this mech on myself and he has. Pleasantly I am surprised. "Ah …Rust sticks from Optimus."

"He said you were fond of them." The smaller mech lifts the box to me and I take it in my hand. I open it to smile down at the delicate treat. Closing the box I turn my attention back to my newest crewmember. "He also sent along his status reports." The smaller mech lifted a data pad toward me and with my free servo I take it and thumb over the first page.

"Come along I'll get you set up in some quarters and I'll send Beachcomber to retrieve your belongings." I walk slowly "My second in Command is named Apache." I say giving him the short litany "If you need me and cannot find he, he surely will be able to."

"We're a bit out of the way here aren't we sir?"

"Yes." I answer him "But sometimes that can be a good thing. You'll be working with Packrat in the security room."

"Packrat?" He questions as all do hearing the name. "Tell me he's not…" I knew this was coming. A lot off the pure cybertronians don't like to work with those of our kind who were scattered and corrupted. Their scanners were forced to scan biological DNA to complete their transformations after the destruction of Cybertron. They would forever be called Maximals.

Stanton was able to come up with a solution to keep their biological and their technological parts from going hay wire with one another. They survive but the cost is sometimes high.

"Maximal and you will get along with him." It's an order an order I give all my crew members Autobot and Maximal alike. "I know who you are and where you come from. However, I will have complete cooperation from everyone, I will tolerate nothing less." It's not my own words but words I had heard Optimus say many eons ago.

"Yes Sir, of course sir." He said softly with a nod.

"I'm the only one who knows of what happened to you, if you need me you can contact me. I will always be available day or night to speak with you." The irony that we are on a planet with two suns and there is no 'night'. "Everyone thinks this is just a simple lateral move for you, not a demotion or a promotion." I say looking down and starting to walk with him beside me. His head is lowered as we walk. "I hope you find our little group to be a welcome change to your life." I say softly. He nods. Though young this mech carries a heavy burden one he was not meant to carry. I can see how haunted he is in his optics. He thinks that by being here he will forget. Primus I hope he comes to terms with all this…it will be his end if he does not.

"You will not have to report to duty for two days…I want you to take time to get to know the base and those around you…walk around. Explore…meet the femmes and mechs stationed here."

"Of course sir." He says softly looking around "Your quarters will be inside on deck four …room 102." I hand him the key pass. "Good luck and I'll see you around Mirage."

"Yes sir." I watched him slowly make his way inside. "Thank you sir."

"He looks like the pit boss." I hear the smaller mech approach. I turn with a nod.

"I know Armorhide but he'll be alright." I turn my head "How goes the subterranean scan?"

"Well we're almost ready to start drilling." He says.

Looking up with a nod I turn to glimpse the area "Make sure when you start there is a ship-wide announcement about energon radiation." I saw quietly "Our maximal friends will have to revert to their beast modes."

Armorhide nods and gives a look to his left "Yes sir of course sir." He says firmly. "Gears said he wants to talk to you later when you get a chance."

I nod "I'll see to it I make time for him." I pass the data-pad back "Keep me posted with your progress."

"Yes sir." He says turning away.

The walk back to the ship is slow but I am taking my time trilling over a hundred things on my processor. Running what's on my core through my memory and keeping some flagged, and partitioning others away.

"There you are." A voice breaks my focus and I turn to see her standing there. "I've been looking all over for you." I wait a moment and choose my next words with utmost care.

"Flareup." I say waiting for some report; it should be the only reason she needs to see me at this time. I raise my brow expectantly and hope she speaks soon. I want to be alone.

"Magnus…" She imitates my dry tone. I cross my arms waiting. "I wanted to say I was sorry." She says to me. I glance away at the words looking up into the second sun. Unbelievable, she is simply unbelievable.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." I've fully turned away from her gaze trying to get her to just go. I really don't need this right now compounded with everything else that's going on.

"I didn't mean to hurt you…it's just that with my transfer; going to earth…. and Apache." I hold up my hand. "I don't want you to dwell, hold back, or wait for me."

"That's very selfish Flare…" I state coldly. "You broke my spark don't rub it in." I'm doing my best to keep my tone quiet and even, but I am not afraid to tell her how I feel.

"I did this for you, so that you could-"

Twisting around I cut her off before she can say more. "No." I seethe quietly pointing a finger at her. "You did this for you." I shake my head "So that you could be free to pursue others…. You didn't do this for me." I turn back "Leave me."

"But Magnus…"

"That's an order!" I bite back not daring to look in her direction. I'm seething as I have my back to her. My servos are clenched into fists.

My head is turned but I can hear the hurt in her voice. "Yes sir." And with that I hear her steps as she withdraws. I want to turn around to scoop her up and beg her to stay, but she wouldn't be happy. Her happiness is my misery and I'm fine to bear the burden.

* * *

A week has passed, and thoughtful moments seem to strike me left and right. Rolling my chair around I shutter my optics slowly lying back to find a moments rest in the stressful workings of my day. I allow my body to sag, armor plates shifting slowly as I find a comfortable space. I could also lull myself into a peaceful recharge right in my chair. I have before but I'm trying to not let myself fall. I have a momentary thought of Flareup and I cast it aside. I think about my Second in Command; Apache, and another sigh escapes me.

I feel to easily and I could love him like I loved Flare but I just fall to hard to fast and too easily. Primus I care too much. I don't know why Optimus gave me this command. I am not cut out for this at all.

The door chine breaks me from my reverie. I sigh shifting up as my chair turns around. "Enter" I run a ragged servo over my face-plates and rub between my optics at my protoform. Lowering my servo the door slides open and I smile at Mirage as he enters slowly. "Sir." He says saluting.

"Mirage…good morning." My smile is sincere despite the heavy feeling that covers my entire body. "Is there something I could do for you?" I look up.

"You said …um…if I needed to talk…" he stammers looking down to his pedes.

I motion to the chair before my desk and nod "Sit down." Watching him sit I know he's troubled. He looks around as if wondering if someone's watching. He's scared to Primus. "Mirage," I think slowly as to how to broach him about this. "You just say what you need to say." I slide back in my chair relaxed and wait. "I will listen to what ever you need to get off your shoulder struts."

"Sir…." He shifts.

I chuckle softly "Like this you can just call me Magnus…meetings like this my friend are not in an official capacity."

He nods with a slight smile "I feel my spark pulling me back." He says quietly.

"Yes, the younglings spark will always be a part of yours, you will always feel the bond as its sire to return to it." I say looking at him "It's the bond of a sire."

"Would not the creator feel the same way?"

I nod slowly "They should…" I nod "But the pull will be much stronger as you were the carrier." I say.

"You know an awful lot about this sir." He said servos folded between his knee joints. His optics keep moving to the floor.

"I did my homework Mirage." I laugh quietly. "Had to sit through a video conference with First Aid." I wave a hand "I got a good hold on what's going on."

"I wish Optimus would hate me." This sudden statement catches me off guard.

"Do you want her back?" I ask; gesturing slowly to my side. "Optimus would not blame-"

"No." he cuts me off. "I don't... but I just …I don't know what I want." He lowers his elbows to his knees; placing his head in his servos he shudders.

"Mirage…" I say softly pushing up off my desk I stand moving around to the side of his chair. "Mirage…. what is wrong with her that makes you not know if you want her or not?" I blink "Is it her creator?"

"Yes…" The pained expression and admittance is hard I can see it in his optics.

"Hey." I turn his chair to me looking at him "Would you confide in me? Tell me who?"

He looks away "Double-dealer." It's a hurt statement.

"And you loved him?" I ask because I know what heartbreak looks like. He says nothing only returning his head to his hands. I sigh quietly and put a hand on his back and rub slowly. "Spark-break…." I say softly. "I know the feeling well."

He sits up and looks cold like he's suppressing the hurt. "I will be able to function here sir I Promise." He assures me.

"Mirage you have a battle computer you've been routing your feelings through?"

He nods slowly. Not a lot of mechs have a battle computer. I know Prowl has one as a tactician but this mech I would not have thought had one. "I had it installed when I joined the Autobots." He enplanes calmly. "It's how I hid the pain of carrying her." I nod slowly.

"A battle computer is an expensive thing."

"Yes my family had the credits…and we had a mod dealer install it." He looks up "It's in my upper shoulder assembly…Ratchet never knew it was there…"

"You had it hidden?" I nodded holding a hand not needing him to answer. "Well that sure explains a lot." I move to stand behind his chair. "Show me."

His shoulder plate splits and the panels fold away and the small box slides out and there are six blinking lights. "It's been a life saver…."

I nod slowly and pat his opposite shoulder. "I am going to need you to get looked over by the medic." I sigh shaking my head.

"But Magnus." He protests as his shoulder plates realign to cover the small computer. I cringe at the armor as it slides together and shifts solid, it's an extremely tight fit.

"Mirage." My voice is soft "we need to have that in your medical file. Just incase something were to happen." I try to explain, "I don't want to take any chances."

"You know I have it, and you're the only one. If something happens you can tell someone at that time but I don't want everyone to know I'm running on it." He looks up at me desperately and I wish I could give him more comfort for his pain. I ache at his optics and I remind myself I am hurting myself and taking on too much at once is bad for me. "It's all I have please…." His request is desperate.

"All right." I cave, I'm not strong like Optimus, and I never was. I sag my shoulder joints, as I move to sit back in my chair. "This best not get out of hand because if it does…you will be filing with the CMO." I say. "That…is the only order I'm giving right now Mirage."

"Aye sir." He nods his head lowers as he is about to ask something, but he is abruptly cut off. The door chimes again and I press a button my desk activating the intercom.

"Yes?"

"Sir I got those eh…reports ya wanted." I nod slowly opening the door. The dark metal doors peel back, as the Maxmal walks in and up to the side of Mirage's chair. "There are a few seekers that I've spotted." He pulls the data-pad from under his arm and slides it up onto my desk. A sideways glance to the mech in the chair makes the Maximal smirk. "Eh you must be Mirage…I'm Packrat…just call me Rat." He offers his clawed furry hand to the spy. Mirage gives it a guarded look before reaching out to shake the smaller mech's hand.

"Rat…" he says softly "It's a pleasure." It's a stark contrast the blue and white mech compaired to the black and grey maximal with the yellow optics.

"Not yet kid but it will be." Rat smiles up at me proudly. "That good fer ya boss?" I glance down at the report and look at a few of the video captures. This rat is very organized.

"Exemplary as always Packrat." I smile "Why don't you go on Mirage and I'll catch up with you later. I'll be around the canteen in a Joor." The mech stands and gives me a salute and turns exiting my office without another word.

"Awful proper that one is." Packrat says climbing into the vacated seat.

"He's a noble." I say firmly.

"That so?" The maximal looks behind him as if to take stock of Mirage again. "Handsome make, rich model." He says and I cannot deny but I say nothing. Packrat never was shy about speaking his mind.

"Scuba should be back soon with his recon report, go over it with him and get back with me." I say pulling another data-pad sliding it to him.

"He will prattle forever. You know how I feel about the jelly fish." The rat groans running a clawed servo over his face plates to scratch at the fur behind his small ears. Reaching out with his free servo he takes the pad and scrolls over it. "All right I'll make sure he and I get together to go over it all, I'll ask Nobility there to come with do him some good." He smiles at me. "How ya feeling big convoy?" He smirks now openly.

"Don't call me that." I say looking up at him softly "I'm doing better." I admit after a long pause.

"She should never have done it…you both were happy." He sighs softly looking up at me with concern. Though he is rather forward at times Packrat always was considerate. "I am sorry…I hope ya can find the spark to feel better and move on." It's not something I want to hear but I know I need to hear it. "You really need to just let her go. She split with ya weeks ago and ya sit here in this office all cooped up like a petro-chicken."

"Rat." I say in warning. I want him to stop while he's ahead. "Not…just not right now." I wave a hand at him.

"All right all right." He smiles "Just member…your SIC been watching you fer a long time boss bot." He smiles shifting out his seat and down to the floor transforming and moving around the desk to look at me with his soft black eyes tail twitching slightly. "Don't ignore him…just case he's a maximal…. you know those are your rules and all." He says and turns moving toward the door. I don't ignore Apache, I never did. I understand how he feels, and he knows I do not reciprocate those feelings. I could easily but I prefer not to.

"How's Gears?" I chuckle. This causes the fur on his back-strut to bristle and he keeps walking, he would never tell the mech his feelings. I think I've made my point; he shouldn't give advice he won't himself undertake. I nod as the doors close and lean back hoping I can find my serene place again. I turn my chair to the wall and shutter my optics with a smirk.

* * *

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	3. Sucker Punch

Choice

Chapter 3: Sucker punch

Please read and review.

I want to write

And your reviews help me do that.

_MIRAGE_

MAGNUS_  
_

* * *

_"This is a ship wide announcement; all Maximals please revert to your beast modes as the workers outside are going to begin blasting and the risk of high energon radiation levels may cause damage to your systems. I repeat all Maximals to your beast modes." Removing my finger off the ship's intercom I move to the private comm. line and press down the button. "Mirage to Apache the announcement has been made feel free to have them start blasting."_

_ "This is Apache understood." The comm. went silent. He didn't sound happy, then again he never was. The rat in the chair beside me smiled leaning up putting his forelegs on the arm rest to look at me._

_ "Yer getting good at this kid." Packrat smiled and looked over the edge of the chair. "Feeling good about the position?" he smiled at me his black beady eyes bright as he spoke._

_ "Yes." My tone was even and calm as always "It isn't so hard." I admitted as my servos darted over the board. "And you need the assistance when you can not be in robot mode." I leaned down pressing another button on the other side of the panel turning on the main outer cameras. "Like now when you can't reach over the board."_

_ "Yeah yer right." He chuckled pushing up onto the front of the board hitting another camera button with his little hand his tail twisting up over a dial to turn it to sharpen the picture himself. Even in his beast mode he's still capable. "Think ya can handle it in 'ere all by yerself tonight?"_

_ "Yes I believe I can…If I feel in doubt of my own ability to perform I will comm. You. Besides, it's only for a joor." I turned to him and smiled softly. "Gears said he and you were going to spend some time together, perhaps I will see you both later." _

_ "Yeah…well we're gonna have drinks." Rat seemed to want to pass it off as nothing but I could tell by the way his little claws checked the computer for the time, that he was eager to get out of there. _

_ "Why don't you go on early…I think I can take care of all this tonight." I smile not looking at him but monitoring the screens. _

_ "Yer shure?" Packrat smiled from ear to ear. I only nod to his question. I'm not looking at him still but in the perhifery of my sensors I can tell he's elated. "Yer a good mech Mirage." He says and slides out of the chair moving under my legs his tail dragging behind him. "If ya need me …call …"_

_ "Can do Packrat." I wave a hand motioning him to go on. The doors to the security room open and close and I've been left alone. With a sigh I sink back in my chair. A joor isn't so long and I like the peace._

* * *

The blasting had been a success. The raw energon we had found was being harvested as I walked back along to the ship. Loads were being loaded by a few autobots who had volunteered for the assignment. The Maximals would remain in their beast modes for the remainder of harvest; they would have to. The radiation would be too much for their bodies; putting them into stasis lock, and ultimately a complete shut down. I was doing all in my power to make sure that didn't happen to anyt of them. Moving along I smiled over to Apache who sat auditing the harvest in his beast mode.

My second always sat so quietly and still in his beast mode and I admired it I always had. I know his feelings for me but I cannot bring myself to encourage the path that he wishes me to travel with him. I turn slowly moving to him stepping up to his left side. He sits on a large rock his thumb moving over a data-pad. "It will be done soon Magnus but we still need a bit more time to get the rest. Once it's loaded and secured into the containers and the radiation risk is lower I'll call the all clear for the rest of my people." The Mandrill spoke quietly lifting up the data-pad for my approval.

I look over the data once thumbing through it quickly, and then hand it back. "Good…keep me informed." I turn on my stabilizers and start back. Hearing his deep growl I pause. "Apache?" I ask firmly not turning. "Is something the matter?" I shouldn't have to ask I know what's wrong.

The Mandrill Snorts and turns away his tail stiff and unmoving. The fur on his neck bristles and his hand comes up to scratch at the blue at the sides of his snout. "I will keep you informed." He says blandly he's being indifferent to me.

"I'm sorry…" I say firmly "But you know why I cannot." I sigh turning slowly. "Why we cannot be together. Please do not let this personal hurt interfere with the job we have to complete."

"I don't know why you like him so much…" he growls "You can't save those who do not wish to be saved. He does not need to replace his pain with you. You indulge him. " His words are cold and spark-less. "Those who care most for you; you just ignore." He's hurt by the time I spend with Mirage, and I will no longer take his attitude in the matter. He doesn't know the whole story and I have done my best to keep it from everyone on board.

I turn and look at him firmly pointing a finger at the primate. "Apache, upon completion of the harvest I want your full report on my desk." I say. "If you cannot complete your job without all this personal malice I will have you replaced." I say gesturing my servo. "I do not lack the courage of my conviction to do so." I am trying to sound commanding with out harming his feelings further. "Am I understood?"

The primate snorts again and nods "Yes sir." He turns his head away with another growl. I've broken his spark now and I know it, and while I feel horrid about it, it's for the betterment of things here. "I understand." He keeps his back to me his fur bristling further. I say nothing in response to this and walk away from him towards the ship to get some time alone.

I think a drink in the canteen would do me some good right about now. I lick my glossa across my lip-plates. My glossa sensors can already taste the high-grade.

* * *

_The night's been long and the monitors have been clear. Spotting movement in the cargo bay I turn my attention to the far monitor. Magnus enters through the doors and they seal behind him. He looks drawn; his servos lift and rest against his hip joints and draws in a large intake for his vents. Just standing in the middle of the cargo bay alone._

_ I find myself ignoring the other monitors to watch that screen. He has seen so much stress in the last three weeks with the drilling. I sigh quietly and turn looking at the main computer's read out. Less than five clicks till my shift is over, and I stand turning the monitors to record to leave a few minutes early. I usually would not do something like this but my commander appears to need someone. I don't know why I think that someone could be me, but he's been here for me since I got here, it's only right I return the favor. _

_ Crossing out the hallway to the main corridor I turn headed for the cargo bay on deck three. I make for the lift. I press the access button, it opens directly for me, and I board the vacant lift. "Deck three." I inform the computer and grasp the rail inside the lift and wait as it rises up to the third deck. "What the hell are you doing Mirage?" I ask myself "this is ludicrous…you don't need to help him…" I press my servos to my helm and shake my head "He's Ultra Magnus why would he need you?" There's a buzz._

_ As the lift opens I raise my head lowering my servos. "Mirage, away from your post early I see." It's Magnus. I open my lips as if to say something but his hand raises and I am stopped from speaking "It's all right, I won't tell if you won't."_

_ I can only say one thing to him. "Thank you sir." I fold my servos behind my back standing tall. Modesty does not become me right now I'm nervous and I'm doing a bad job at keeping it under wraps._

_ "Mirage…" he steps inside the lift a meter from me. "Would you like to join me for a drink? I have a good need for some High grade."_

_ "H-High Grade?" I stammer. "I-In the Canteen?" I ask with a blink of my optical shutters. He laughs at me and I look down. I'm more nervous now; we've never shared a drink. Let alone together in the canteen._

_ "Of course in the Canteen…. computer deck five." He smiles at me and I feel a hitch in my vents. His vocals soften "Mirage?"_

_ "Y-yes?" I look up directly into his optics. _

_ "Are you all right…shall I call Santon?" His servo finds my shoulder._

_ "N-no, no… I'm fine I don't need the medic." I lie about how I feel, but I do not need the medic that much is true. He and I are getting closer and as much as I want to deny it, to run, I find myself drawn closer to him. Despite the fear in my tanks I step toward him._

_ "Computer halt the lift." The lift comes to a stop. He steps up to me close and looks down. "Mirage." His voice is soft as his hand reaches up to touch the plate on my cheek. "It's fine." His assurances don't seem to be sitting with me. There's a churn in my tanks, like the one when I was climbing the mountain. Fear, anxiety, and a pleading need for completion._

_ "Magnus." I ache at his touch. I want this I do, but I don't. I don't want what happened before to happen now. I don't want to hurt, or be abandoned. I don't want to. As he draws closer my glossa crosses my lip. "Magnus…I…" I have lost the will to speak._

_ "Mirage." His voice is a whisper as he looks at me slowly, his optics shutter with a soft mechanical sound as he scrutinizes my face. _

_ "You're tired." I offer slowly a servo reaching up to pull his servo off my face "Perhaps it's best if you return to your quarters and get a good recharge." My spark throbbing in its chamber, I look up at him and frown. We are standing so close my sensors are reading his system information too. His spark, like mine, is a flutter; he can tell mine is too. _

_ "No," his word is curt. "I am not." His servo returns to my face-plate. He holds my head firmly in his grasp. "Mirage." It's a plea. I have to make the first move, as the commander he cannot. This mission is mine and though I am not use to such seductions I cannot help myself. Being wanted is my weakness. Being loved more so. My vent hitches once more and I can hear the gear above my intake grind._

_ "Ultra…" I draw closer and I brush my lips against his "Magnus." He sighs softly just before we seal our lip plates in a soft kiss; our first. The kiss is warm and I cannot help but feel that I need it. I melt into his arms. Pulling myself closer to him. _

_

* * *

_

Drawing my arms around the smaller mech I feel he needs this as much as I. His kiss is warm against me and I smile drawing back looking to his optics. "Are you all right?" I ask firmly pulling him to my chassis. His head rests against the glass of my torso and he nods not really answering me. "Mirage?"

"I'm fine Magnus." He says softly under a whisper servos grasping my back-strut. My glossa rolls over my lip plates and I turn my head "Computer deck four."

"Sir?" He looks up at me.

"You are right." I smile at him. "I am tired." I say softly letting him out of my arms as the lift starts to move again. I don't need high-grade now, I just got the lift I was looking for.

"Deck four." The computer responds, and the doors open.

Mirage moves to step off the lift "I'll walk you to your room." I step beside him as we walk down the hall. "Can I meet you for rations in the morning?"

I smirk and try to subdue how happy the request makes me. "Of course, but I have to over see some reports in the morning could you bring them to my office?" I hope that will make him feel better. He and I have spoken over rations in my office before. Meetings with Mirage and me are common but this won't be a meeting, this will be what the humans will consider a date; a prearranged meeting to be together to talk.

"Of course." He nods. As we start to walk he folds his servos behind his back walking straight and tall. He is a noble I can tell his attitude seems to have changed over night. "I will speak with you in the morning." He steps up to my door and turns waiting for me. I reach across him and key in my code in his view.

"Thank you Mirage." I say as the door slides back. "I will see you in the morning." Stepping inside I turn back to him.

"Ultra Magnus?" He asks properly.

"Yes Mirage?" I ask as he steps inside once more leaning up on his pedes to kiss me once more before backing down and nodding. He has a smile larger than I have ever seen him with. As he waves his servos in my direction he backs out the door. He pulls his arms behind his back and walks slowly down the hallway away from my quarters.

I fall onto my berth as the door slides shut. "Primus." I chuckle, and lay there smiling up at the ceiling of my room. Primus I'm a fool, but you know what I'm sick of being upset by my existence, and if this is my moment of happiness, even if it only lasts a blink than I am content.

* * *

_Turning into the canteen I smile moving to the energon dispensers. "Hey kid." Packrat looks over from his seat near gears "Yer looking awful chipper, come grab a seat." He motions me over and I nod slowly._

_ "Allow me to gather up a cube and I shall." I say softly turning to the machine. _

_ "Something good musta happened to the kid." Gears spoke softly to Packrat but I could hear him. Gathering up my cube I moved around to their table sitting across from the awkward couple. Gear's servo was running over Rat's back slowly._

_ "So eh kid…how's it going?" Rat smiled from the side seat his little legs propped up on the top of the table. He tilted his head to nab at the straw with his small mouth._

_ "Rat." Gears sighed and reached forward holding the small straw so the rat could drink from the cube. All the Maximals will still being kept in their beast modes for the energon harvests. Taking a drink from the straw the rat slid back. " Feel better?"_

_ "Yea thanks." He smiled at the grey mech. "So kid…what's got ya in such a good mood?"_

_ "It's nothing…" I wave a modest servo in their direction "and how are the two of you tonight?" _

_ Gears looks down to the Maximal. "We're fine." His voice is soft and calm and I can tell by the way he's looking at the maximal how he feels for him. "It's been a good day."_

_ Looking back at the Autobot the Maximal nods "Yea." He says and shifts back against the larger mech who puts a protective arm around him._

_ "You both look happy." I smile "And I am happy for you."_

_ "So kid…come on…tell me…" Packrat smirks as if he already knows. _

_ "I shouldn't have to." I say knowing full well it's my secret and before it gets to serious I'm not going to go around blasting it to every mech who wants to know._

_ "Leave him alone Packrat." Gears shakes his head with a chuckle. "Before I string you up by your tail."_

_ "Promise?" The rat asks as I take a sip of my energon. I shake my head lowering the cube._

_ "I think I'll take my leave… I have an early meeting in the morning."_

_ "Magnus huh?" Packrat smirks but receives a reprimanding smack from gears between his pink ears. "Eh Gears I was just askin' the kid a question."_

_ "You were prying." Gears smirks shaking his head. "be polite.  
"Goodnight gentle-mechs." I smile standing moving away "I'll see you tomorrow Rat. I've had enough excitement for one night" I have and I want to get back to my quarters before the high-grade gives me a false sense of bravery and I go looking for Ultra Magnus. _

_

* * *

_

The small alarm went off in my processor rousing me from my recharge. My optics online as their shutters lift away and I look over my room. Multiple announcement warnings flash over my screen but one in particular strikes me and gets me moving out of bed; rations with Mirage in my office.

With a smile I move my legs over the bed. Before I can stand the comm. Beside my berth chirps. Moving a slow hand down I press the button slowly "This is Ultra Magnus."

"Eh Mags …ya better get yer big metal aft down ta the Canteen…there's eh a situation."

Standing I turn toward the door. "What kind?"

"Er eh…ya best just get down there. The monkey and Mirage are um…well …it's not good." I move out the door before I hear the remainder of what my security chief has to say heading to the lift full speed to make my way to the lower deck.

* * *

_I can taste the energon in my mouth as I reach in pulling out a broken piece of plating "I told you I have no idea what you are talking about!" I say standing turning to the maximal who stands only a head higher than I._

_ "Yes …you do." He points at me moving to circle and flank me. "You know exactly what I am talking about."_

_ "Apache sit down!" Gears tries to get between the primate and myself but he's pushed out of the way. "This isn't like you please …Come on man."_

_ "I will not sit or calm down!" he growls "You know what he means to me!" His attention returns to me, grabbing a chair he tosses it in my direction. "You're not even prepared for a commitment." He grows "You don't know him like I do!"_

_ "Apache …Sir…Please" I pleaded backing up to the wall; servos pressing myself up to brace against the metal surface. "Stop this I beg of you!"_

_ "Don't sir me." He growled low his head twisting. I feel him lung at me grabbing me by my torso plate lifting me off the ground "You sorry excuse for a mech!" Growling he roars in my face before turning to toss me into the air against the energon dispenser. The impact aches as my body crushes the device and I find myself on the ground covered in energon and unable to move for the moment. Mechs scatter._

_ "Get Magnus!" One yells._

_ "Dear Primus is that Mirage!" A femme shrieks. "Commander no!"_

_ "SPITTER NOW!" The voice is unmistakable and before Apache can turn to gather me again, a small frog sitting on Magnus' shoulder spits out a venomous gel from his mouth onto the Mandrill. The ape backs away from me slowly collapsing, falling over paralyzed. _

_ "Kid…" Pack rat is at my side in an instant helping me up. "You alright?" I look at him and shake my head. Magnus is standing over Apache. My optic's meet with the Primate's and I shrink back, his optics are red and dark. Full of hate and anguish, both things I caused. _

_ My spark quakes as he kneels down to the other mech first. I shake my head and push Packrat away from me. Finding my feet once more I move for the door, I want to get out of there, away from all the prying optics. I want to be alone. Covered in energon I burst into the hall and run finding a place away from every one I kneel down in a corner of a far corridor and cloak myself. Primus…why does this happen to me? _

* * *

Moving into the medical bay I have Apache by the upper arm half dragging him. "Santon?" I question walking inside.

The large mech steps out of his office and looks between us. He never was one to judge. "Come on my friend …on a berth." He motions me to move Apache to a table. I do so slowly and help my second to the table to lie down.

"Spittor was the only way to bring him down." I say glaring at the primate. "I want your report as soon as it's done Santon."

"Of course sir." He nods firmly. "And after?"

"Have him remanded to his beast mode and secured in his quarters." I say firmly. "Armorhide will be outside keeping guard." I look down at Apache once. "You made the wrong move." I frown. "My disappointment is spark deep." I shake my head "And you wonder why I don't want you." I shake my head "You're relieved of active duty." Saying nothing more I turn on my stabilizers and move out of the medical bay. I have to find mirage, one can only guess how much energon he's lost.

Once outside the medical bay I turn to the nearest computer terminal. Logging in I look over the screens of data. "Computer location of Autobot Mirage."

"Unknown" I sigh. Sometimes I hate this computer. I have had more trouble in the past orn with this ship than Primus himself with the first cybertronians.

"All right computer last known location of Autobot Mirage." Perhaps I can get a lead on him from there.

"Last know location of Autobot Mirage…corridor four…deck five." I nod slowly and log off the terminal heading for the forth corridor on this deck.

* * *

_I am pinching off some weeping lines with my servo digits as I see him round the corner. I know he cannot see me and I hold my vent in anticipation of him walking by. "Mirage." He's looking down at me. "I know you're there." He says softly. I don't know how he knows I'm here._

_ Watching him he kneels down and runs his digit over the floor lifting it up. I'm leaking energon and my cloak won't hide it. Letting my vent out I allow the cloak to fall. "Primus." He frowns "I have to get you to Santon."_

_ Holding up a hand I shake my head "Mostly it's from the dispenser." I explain and look away. _

_ "Are you going to be all right?" he stays where he is almost afraid to come close and I can understand why. I'm a sight. I wouldn't want to touch me either. I frown looking away. _

_ To my surprise a hand grasps my arm and lifts me to my stabilizers. "Mirage speak to me." He pleads. "I won't stand for you to bottle up like this …if last night…" he pauses. "if last night meant something to you …you must speak to me."_

_ I seal my optics and shake my head. I hurt I can't say it or explain it away. "Primus." He whispers pulling my body against his and lifting me up into his arms. "I'm taking you to Santon." He says._

_ I protest fervently. "No…no I'm fine."_

_ "Like the pit you are." He frowns at me._

_ "Just stay with me…Apache is with Santon now I'm sure and I don't want to be where Apache is." I force the honesty out of me looking up into his optics. He studies me for a long moment. I wait, as the decision works in his processor. Making up his mind he nods to me and carries me in the direction of the lift. "Where are we going?" I ask putting a shaking servo to his torso._

_ "My quarters where you can get cleaned up and rest and not be disturbed." He says. _

_ I shudder slowly "It is inappropriate for me to be in your quart-"_

_ "That will be enough back talk from you Noble." He says softly. "This isn't Cybertron, you're an adult mech." He says harshly. "I won't do anything I promise you, but do not act as though old courting standards apply anymore. Our planet is dead, I am not." His voice is commanding as I lower my head. "My main concern is your well being at the present moment."_

_ "Yes Magnus." I say softly, as I surrender to his care. I don't know what I would do without him. _

_ "I'm going to fix those lines you're clinging to." He says softly entering a lift. "computer deck three." Looking down I can only nod at the weeping lines in my right forearm clamped down by the digits on my left servo. _

_ "Magnus?" I ask looking up at him quietly._

_ "Yes Mirage?" The Lift stops and the doors open as he moves into the hall still holding me in his arms. It's hard to judge his emotions right now, he looks angry, but I could be mistaking his concern for anger. I am just not sure, and the question on my processor, the one I dread to vocalize, comes out freely. _

_ "He loves you, doesn't he?" Looking over his light armor I clarify. "Apache I mean." I'm so scared to know the answer._

_ The nod is curt. "His spark is broken." Is the only answer I get as if it's some excuse for the Mandrill's wild attack. _

_ "Magnus?" I ask again. He looks down quirking a brow at me quietly. "Thank you." I say softly almost scared. "Thank you so much."_

_ He says nothing, only answering me with a small nod stopping at his door. He looks to me and I reach down remembering the code from the night before I key it in and the doors open to us. _

_ Magnus looks down at me with a sigh and steps inside the doors seal behind us and we're alone. For the first time I'm glad for the closeness and the darkness, even if my mind is telling me that it's wrong._

_ The room is dark as we enter and he sets me down on the berth on the far side of the room. "Easy." He says firmly. "I'm here…" I look up at him and nod meeting his optics. For once I feel safe. For once I feel like I have a choice. There's a pang in my spark again. I ache as I look down to the floor. I'm a horrid sire for leaving her aren't I?_

_ "If you want me to I can-" he motions to the door._

_ "Don't…. Don't go." He says nothing only nods and grasps my servo in his own and we sit quietly for what seems like hours. I need him, and maybe I can make up for the wrongs I have committed in the last eight earth months. Maybe I can start over, and have it be real, but I can't help but feel I'm kidding myself. _


	4. In bed with you

Choice

Chapter 4: In bed with you.

This is a terribly short update but I wanted this to be intimate just between Magnus and Mirage. So this is an interlude chapter.

* * *

His systems are quiet as he recharges. I knew it would not take him long to find his cycle. I am knelt beside the berth, is servo before me. Holding the two smoking wires in my hand I blow against them, venting cool air over the join, sealing the soldering I've done. I wait quietly for a moment so the field patch can cool and twist them back down along side his armament housing in his forearm compartment. I carefully connect two small sensor nodes and look up as his optics flare to life. He sits up quickly and I raise a hand to press him back down "NO …Mirage…calm down." I utter softly barely above a whisper. "It's just me, it's all right."

"What time is it?" he groans as he settles down slightly. Arms losing tension as he calms.

"Late." I say moving to stand up beside the berth. "Go back to sleep."

"And what of you?" He asks his head tilting to one side. I think on that question a moment as I return his gaze. I have no answer but find him answering for me. He presses his arms on the berth and slides over to one side pressing his back strut against the wall before lying back down. "Come on…" He extends his hand.

"You said it would be-" I raise my hand to gesture to him.

"I was wrong." He cuts me off. "You were right in that." He reaches out grasping my outstretched hand. "Cyberton is gone…we have to deal with what we have left..." I stand there just looking at him. "Don't make me ask."

Smiling down at him I nod slowly. "You wish for me to join you." I raise my brow a playful smirk I cannot suppress spreads over my lips. He laughs at my question. "I'm not incompetent Mirage …but I wanted to be sure you are all right with this. That this is what you want."

"After the lecture you gave me? No time to go back on your conviction now Magnus." He tugs at my hand. His voice lowers and softens. "Come on." He motions me to him and I cannot help but follow. My spark needs to heal and I'm tired of chasing ghosts.

He seems to have taken my confidence from me. In a swing of Bravery he pulls harder. "All right." I groan and slide down beside him pulling him closer, pressing him to my chassis. He smiles at me looking up to my helm. "You like this?" I question shifting to position myself on the berth that barely holds the two of us.

"Never been in anyone's berth like this before."

I quirk a brow plate he cannot see. "I see." I give the soft calm answer a servo rising up to pet the back of his helm slowly. I'm testing the waters as the human's say. He slinks back against my arms and looks up at me. "What happened between you and the child's creator?" It comes out of me unbidden and I don't know why I've asked.

"What happened?" He blinked slowly. "What…happened?" His optics downcast as he draws in full intake and lets it out slowly.

"If you do not wish to tell me…" I mutter quietly.

"No no…it's just …" He stammers slowly his servo rising between our bodies to touch my face. He slides it down my neck joint and over the pipes along my shoulder. "I fall so quickly in love." He's looking at some point on my chassis as he speaks. The admission is one of guilt. He feels bad for falling in love, like it's wrong.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of." I say quietly reaching forward lifting his helm to face me. "It's not wrong, don't for a moment think that falling in love is wrong." He nods slowly though he doesn't accept my words. "Love is a gracious thing, but you must find someone to share love, not just accept it."

Parting his lips his glossa runs over his lower lip plate, he trills over what to say. I lean down stopping his internal dialogue whatever it may be to kiss him. Wrapping him in my arms I pull him closer kissing him more firmly. Breaking the kiss I smile against him "It's not wrong." I repeat quietly in the hopes to get the point across.

"But…" His protests fall on deaf audios.

"It's not wrong." I repeat and pull him up over myself and kiss him again. The smaller mech struggles slightly over my bulk. I gasp as his hands grasp a small hinge against my torso place.

"I'm sorry." He backs his torso away sitting up on my hip joints.

I chuckle softly reaching out to grasp his hands in mine. "Don't be…." I shake my head "Don't ever be sorry." I draw him down against my chest. He lies quietly, as his hands roam over my sides. Drawing in a quick breath I smile. "You're perfect." I murmur. This causes him to raise his head off my chassis and look up at me. Questioning my statement.

"Are you sure your temperature sensors are working? You aren't malfunctioning are you?" He asks. "Blow a fuse? Fuse a chip? Your Processor isn't over clocked is it?"

Chuckling I shake my head "Primus no." I touch his face once more to prove to my sensors that he's here with me lying in my berth.

He lays flat over me legs splayed to my sides and he rests his helm over his hands and watches my face. I draw my hands up behind my helm and we lay there like that looking at one another. "It's hard to talk about him." He starts. I grow quiet allowing him the chance to get his hurt out. "Double-dealer…"He frowns and I know the pain is spark deep. This mech, this Double-dealer, he loves you can see it in his optics.

He looks at me and I nod, I won't say anything. Anything I could say would be in vain. He needs to get this out, and I can only get the story from two mechs. I would rather not hunt down Double-dealer.

He would regret meeting me.

He would not survive it.

* * *

To be continued


	5. The Game of Love

Choice:

Chapter 5: The game of Love

This chapter came from personal need to get out what is going onto Apache. I was going to post this as a ONE SHOT but it BELONGS to this story and it's Crutial to the rest of the tale to be told this way.

We're seeing through Stampy's eyes today.

* * *

The light is dim as I enter the room alone. "You…ready to come out and play nice boss bot?" I ask softly not wishing to anger him further. I can see his optics online from the far right corner; he's nestled up against the wall. Trapped in his beast mode, with a clamp around his Maw he sits alone. Apache is the only Maximal known who has weapons in both his forms, and because in his beast mode he cannot be unarmed we've kept him silenced.

His vents snort loudly and he turns away from me. "Come on Apache." I sigh "You made a mistake it's ok." The rumble in his chest is unmistakable. The flare in his optics I can see in the dark. Moving closer to the barrier that seals off the far side of his quarters from the door I find a spot near him along the wall to sit down. "Magnus isn't mad." I say continuing to talk because he doesn't have a choice but to listen. "And I know how ya feel boss…it hurts…I know." I rub at my chassis. "When you get rejected for something else…."

The mandrill turns to me but I do not register I've noted continuing to look straight ahead at the opposing wall. "Come here boss." I motion my hand to him and the Mandrill snorts angrily but comes closer to the containment field that holds him back. Reaching up the small device in my hands I press it and the clamp around his maw is released clattering to the floor. I turn away from him now reaching up to scratch at the long ears on my head. I twist around my head facing him head tilted to the side. "Talk to me." I say ears easing back on my head slowly our optics clashing in the din of the room. His optics; are thin orange lines that almost coat my white fur turning me an off shade of dark orange. My white optics reflect back at me off some of his exposed metallic parts.

"Stampy." He says only my name and turns his head snorting again. There's a battle within him, he wants to talk I know he does but he does not have the capacity to get the stubbornness out of his systems.

"You know how I feel." It's a demand he do so. "You can empathize with me now can't you?" I shake my head looking directly in his optics. "Can't you?" I had hope for him once, and now that hope is fleeting.

His optics round softly, the thin lines of anger gone looking almost kindly at me; in so much as he can. Pushing up off the ground he stands tall motioning to his door. "Lock the door, and lower the field." He says, it's not a request, it's a demand. I remain where I am and look him over. His Optics soften once more and he snorts lowly. His tongue slides out of his mouth and he licks at his lower lip. "Please." It's a hard word for him.

I reward him for his effort turning hopping slowly along the walls as I come to the door. "Computer lower the security field, Authorization: Stamp Alpha Gamma Two." The field drops and I slowly move back to the spot where I had been sitting before. I lower myself down on my forelegs resting my body against the wall.

Apache shifts around me coming to my side to sit beside me. I feel his hand around my middle as he pulls me into his lap petting my ears with his opposite hand "I'm not a pet you know." I look up at him. My own optics thinning slowly to glance him out of the corner of my optic.

"Be silent." He says firmly and scratches between my ears. Leaning with his back against the wall we sit like this, quietly. His firm hand keeping a slow pace over my ears and back. Occasionally he stops this motion; to scratch under my ears with the tips of his fingers. "I'm sorry for my behavior." This in and of itself shocks me and we sit quiet for a moment. I want to give him the opportunity to say more if that's what he desires.

After a few minutes the silence borders on uncomfortable and I cannot help myself but to speak. "S'not me you got to be sorry to." I look up blinking twice waiting for his answer. My foot instinctively raising to itch at my ear.

Amber optics pitch down to meet my own. "I know." Cupping my jaw in his hands a moment he looks me over. My hind leg falls back and I tip my head up in his hands, after a blink I avert my optics. "Stampy." His vocals are deep drawing me back into his view.

"Patch." Looking up I shake my head "We gotta work on this processor to vocalizer thing." I laugh softly. Reaching out, I place my paw on his forearm. "Your temper…" I don't say it like it's a bad thing. I'm trying to be understanding.

His optics seal in shame and he looks away. His hand strokes over my brow again and rests on my back; holding the length of my long ears down against me. "I don't know how to subdue it." He admits; this is the hardest part for Apache. To admit he was wrong, and that he's helpless to stop himself.

I shift to move under his grasp pressing away from him. Sliding forwards out of his hands I find the floor. Turing around, I back up slightly and shrug. "Stampy….Maximize." The utterance of my command code causes the parts to shift as I transform to stand before him. My servos clank forward and the head of my beast mode parts and slides to my shoulders. I have had Santon make changes so that I might have more normal features. My servos emerge and twist around slowly. I have digits now real ones.

"Stamp….you look…different."

"Not a bad thing Patch…" I reply softly and look at him closer now. "Stand up."

"Apache…Maximize." His head bows down as his command code overrides his beast mode causing his transformation. He turns and reaches behind himself slowly drawing his gun and tossing it a down on his desk. I grab my pistols from my hip joints and pull them from their magnetic locks allowing them to come into my hands and I turn setting them on the table. Pressing their safeties I make to turn but hands on my back-strut stop me. "What do I do?" He sounds helpless.

I allow my shoulder joints to slump under his touch. With a weary sigh I shake my head "Not sure." I shouldn't have to tell him how to act he's not a sparkling. He should know better. I want to voice this and after a moment I find my courage. "You know better." I say.

A gruff sigh and I can feel the vent along my dorsal intakes. Turning around breaking free from his hold I cross my arms and lean against the table facing him. I look down and away. "Stamp."

"No…you know better." I repeat. "Yer not a youngling." I shake my head "You are a terror in battle, and the Cons and Preds don't want a thing to do with you because you invoke fear in their sparks." I shrug. "You have the power to be so much more than just a weapon. You're a strategist, this life…" I think long and hard about what I am about to say "Is a complicated game of chess." I grab his shoulders forcing his optics to me. "And rather than be respectable and tip your king you're wiping the board because you didn't win." I shake my head. "You never did like playing fair, and you hate to lose. I can understand that."

"Stamp." He sighs my name in exasperation.

I don't miss a beat when he interjects pushing a firm servo against his chassis to quiet him. "And you know I'm right." He breaks away from me slowly moving to his berth to sit down. Looking around the dimly lit room he snorts quietly as if thinking about what I've said. He shifts his legs up and whispers "beast mode." And transforms lying back on his berth facing away from me- I think we're done for now.

I told myself I would not leave without resolution. "Beast mode." I say softly and transform darting up to the berth I leap upon it and move around to his front. I sit quietly watching his face. His optics are closed but he doesn't push me away. Instead I find myself being drawn to his torso and we just lay there, for what seems like joors.

We're companions in spark-break, and in this day and age; it's better than suffering alone.


	6. Well laid plans

Choice

Chapter 6: Well laid plans

_Mirage_

Magnus

* * *

_ My vocals give away my fear "What?" Shock and disbelief overtake me. As I look at the mech on the screen I openly shake. "But…Why?" My questions seem so misplaced, as if another force guides my query. _

_ "Starscream and Double-dealer have come for Slickdrift." There's an ache in his vocals one even his battle mask cannot hide. "By civil laws, because you gave her up…" He looked down away from the monitor "He has the right to take her as her creator." His head tilted a moment "magnus is that you?"_

_ I turn to see him behind me. He's heard most of what Prime is telling me. "It's alright Prime," I say softly "Please…Continue."_

_ "We've managed to set them back an orn." He explains to me. "There's only half left. If you do not come for her… Mirage." His voice is broken and as his words trail into nothing a servo presses to my shoulder._

_ "We'll be there shortly to fetch her." Magnus says firmly looking down at me with bright optics and an assuring smile. _

_ "Magnus." It's a protest, but despite it, he pulls me closer. Not caring if Prime sees he lays an affectionate kiss on my helm. _

_ "She's your daughter." He says firmly "Your own code." He murmurs lifting my optics to meet his own. Shifting my optics to the monitor Prime hangs his head. _

_ "I'll prepare her for your arrival." Prime sighs softly. _

_ "And Prime?" Magnus turns to face the monitor. Prime looks up to meet his optics "We'll work this out." Magnus assures._

_ "I hope so, Ironhide and I hate to loose her." He says softly. "She has siblings now, I hate to separate them." _

_ "Siblings?" I turn optics bright with my question._

_ "Ironhide and I have two more of our own." He smiled softly "mechs." _

_ "When were they birthed?" Magnus shifts his helm to one side._

_ "Yesterday." Prime nods slowly. "They reside in Pods for the next two orns." He shifted "Part of me does not want you to take her from us." He paused drawing in a deep intake. The futile argument in his mind still circled round. "I know you must, and if it's for her own good I shall not protest." In truth he wanted to, he loved her deeply. A hand rising up over the glyph of her name on his upper arm Prime shakes his head._

_ "We'll take good care of her." Magnus assures him. "And when things settle, she'll return to you." _

_ "We will be in your debt Magnus." He pauses only a moment "Until your arrival." As the screen goes black I look up to Magnus and sigh softly. I'm at a loss as to what to say, or if I even should. _

_ "Everything will be fine." He breaks into the quiet softly. "A temporary solution." He smiles as I wrap my arms around his torso. _

_ "Seeing her…" I stammer on the verge of shaking._

_ "I will be with you." He says quietly. "I shall always be with you." The admission makes me involuntarily tremble, and his arms wrap around me tighter. An anchor for my spark, his vocals change becoming stronger. "You must be strong." He smiles "I will help you but I cannot do this for you." _

_ His servos hold my helm. "I know." My reply is soft as he leans down I lean up. We kiss softly for a moment. His kiss is one of comfort and acceptance. _

_ "Come we need to get some recharge…" he sighed "We leave at first dawn."_

_ "I'll walk you to your quarters." I offer wit ha smile. He has a guarded look as he observes me closely. "What is it?" I question._

_ "Stay with me." He murmurs in almost a whisper. I find myself pressed against him. His helm resting on my own we hold one another tightly._

_ "Ok." I smirk softly. "If that's what you desire." Our optics meet and he is dead serious. I cannot help but think I have missed something. My servos stretch up his arms my digits trailing over dark paint. "What is wrong?" _

_ "Stay with me." He says leaning down capturing my lips with a hungry kiss. _

_

* * *

_

My movements are almost fluid as servos intertwine. Compared to my frame my partner is small, lithe; Optics bright with anticipation.

"Magnus I'm scared." He voices in a whisper.

"I know…" My servo trails over his cheek-plate. "I am with you." I repeat myself from before "I shall always be with you." I've drawn a line. One I cannot take back, and I pull him into my arms. Crushing mouths meet with frantic servos. As we fight for purchase against one another. I win successfully hoisting him up mouths still locked.

"Magnus." He gasps fans activating and his intakes panting for breath.

"Mirage." I purr drawing him down over my desk. His gasps and moans echoing in my processor.

"Magnus…Yes." The urgency draws me over him. "I love you." He moans. I freeze drawing back.

"Say it again." I whisper softly. There's a heavy weight to my vocals one I've not let many hear.

Pressing his chassis to my own he leans up lips barely grazing my own. "I love you." I close my optics, torn with wheatear or not I should say it back; if I even deserve it. He shifts trying to meet my optics.

"You love me." It's a statement of realization and I'm shocked by how much it affects me. "You…"

"Love you." He says our lips crashing together once more as I push him farther up on the desk. Data-pads scatter on the floor as he scoots back making room on the metal platform. "Magnus." He moans.

"Mirage." I nod vents gasping for air, my fans have activated and I can feel the heat in my chassis.

His servo runs over my face. "I'm here." He says firmly.

"I …" I freeze as his chassis opens. "Mirage…" My chassis begins to slip open, my body trying to take over where my mind tries to break. "I love you." I say as my chest plates retract.

With a smile he nods up at me "Always." I draw down over him and we connect in a flash of fluid sparks. I can feel his fear and anxiety but also love as our sparks join. A feedback loop cascades over me, as my servos tightly grasp the table. "MAGNUS!" he yelps his optics bright as his overload takes him, his body going limp.

Just before his spark can leave mine my overload shifts through me, panels and plates flutter in the quake of the act and I slide backward onto the ground by the desk, leaving my partner offline upon it. I twist leaning by back against the desk, my visual output it becoming bleary and I'm not sure what to do. I sigh softly It had been quick and fast and not how I would have liked to see our first merge.

My chest seals as I lay back. My manifold struggles to draw in more air to cool my sstems. Laying my head back I reach a hand over putting it against Mirage's leg. "Love you." I murmur closing my optics, and I can believe it. I smile and allow myself to offline leaned up against my desk. Tomorrow we go to see the hatchling of the mech I love, and I know I will love her. I know I will love her because she's his. My servo tightens on his leg and I will myself into recharge.


	7. Right where it belongs

Choice

Chapter 7: Right where it belongs

_Prime_

Magnus

Chapter notes:

This chapter was written listening to the album WITH TEETH by Nine Inch Nails. The final song ...Right where it belongs sets the tone for this chapter.

I have also drawn Apache. I know he doesn't say anything in this chapter but he's got his eyes shut and his head down, he's controlling himself and that's a HUGE part of his character. Temper and control. So I was trying to capture this...deep thought Please go to my site: world wide web dot Felina Fullstop dot com. To see the sketches of Apache.

Please enjoy Chapter 7.

* * *

_I stand with her in my arms and this to me is almost worse than being put offline. I have grown too attached to her in the past months and it's wrong of me to feel so put out by all of this._

_ "Easy." Ironhide reminds me as I watch the two of them ascend the ramp slowly. "Magnus." Ironhide extends a servo to shake his and I do as my bonded withdrawls._

_ "Good to see you Ironhide…Prime." He nods to us both in turn. "Oh this is her huh?"_

_ Mirage is at his side and nods slowly "Yes." He says quietly. I can almost see the fear wake off him. _

_ "Might I?" Magnus asks and I blink my optics from Mirage to him and nod offering the little one into his hands. Slick is almost ready for her upgrade and she still looks around with an innocent wonder._

_ I watch as she touches Magnus' faceplates with curiosity. "Oh Mirage." His voice is soft and reverent. "She's so beautiful." He smiles at her, he sees her like Ironhide and I see her; perfect. _

_ "Yeah…" he nods to me with a quiet timid look. _

_ "Hello Mirage it's good to see you again." I kneel down slightly to pull the smaller mech into an embrace, he and I are beyond such formalities as a handshake, we're too closely knit now. _

_ "I would love to see your hatchlings as well." Magnus looks up to me as Mirage and I separate. _

_ "They are still in pod." Ironhide explains. "But I would be honored to show them to you. " He smiled "come on Magnus bring Slick we'll let these two …talk." _

_ Magnus turns to Mirage a question on his glossa, one he never voices. It's Mirage who breaks between them, as he smiles reaching up patting the larger mech's arm. "I'll be all right." He says quietly._

_ "All right." He smiled "I'll be inside…Apache and Stampy are back in the command center." He tells me "debriefing with Prowl." _

_ I nod "We'll catch up with you both in a few cycles." I say and watch as the two mechs leave. Once out of Audio shot I turn to the young mech at my side. "He cares very deeply for you."_

_ "And I for him."_

_ I turn my head and start to walk, he follows slowly. "And if he had been her creator?" _

_ He doesn't answer and this: that in and of itself is an answer. He derails my questions. "How are you holding up sir?"_

_ "I'm all right, the two little ones gave my systems quite a draw down but I think I will be fine." I utter "nothing a little rest and energon cannot fix." I smile behind my battle mask "And if they cannot Ratchet most assuredly will." The quiet is not something I like so I move to another topic of interest "How do you like Alexia?"_

_ "Fine…" he nods _

_ "I heard you were in a fight with commander Apache?" I ask "Is that correct?" He timidly nods._

_ "When Magnus and I started getting…close…he …lashed out. He was upset I do not blame him for that…" I nod slowly listening "He is in love with Magnus, I couldn't blame anyone for that."_

_ "You empathize with his love not his hurt…that's a good quality Mirage." He nods._

_ "That does not mean I do not understand his heart ache." The younger mech says coming to my front stopping my stride. "I do know why he did it…and I might have done it too." He says "If he were to be taken from me now by anyone or Primus himself I am sure I would be just as inconsolable as Apache…wouldn't you be if something happened to Hide?"_

_ The youngling's logic is so sound even I am surprised by it. "I suppose I would be." I smile down at him. "Are you and Magnus thinking of bonding?"_

_ "It's not come up in conversation…this is still relatively new Sir." I nod in understanding "The last time I rushed things." He looks back at the ship quietly. "I don't want to rush things this time." A beat before he amends his statement "I don't want to screw this up." _

_ "I understand." I nod slowly. "You won't screw this up…I've known Magnus for a long time." I nod. "He never looked at anyone the way he's looking at you. Not with this much care and worry." I chuckle placing a hand on his shoulder as he smiled and nods. He knows how perfect they are for one another no one needs to tell them. _

_ "How…" he shifts "How has she been?"_

_ "She's been well behaved and very good. She is more than we ever expected." I smile "Aside from a small issue with her vents she's in perfect operational order."_

_ "Her vents?" he questions optics darting to mine. "What's wrong with them?"_

_ "She gets a lot of fluid build up in her manifold along the conduit lines." I shrug "Ratchet says she'll grow out of it once the conduit is upgraded." He looked concerned. "She's getting upgraded in two days." _

_ "That's good." He nods slowly "When is he arriving?"_

_ "In three days." I say turning my head "He's coming back with Starscream…after the first and second conversations I know only two things. One they expect to leave with her, and two; Double-dealer is bonded. "_

_ "To Starscream?" Mirage blinked._

_ I shake my helm "No not to Starscream." I say "He doesn't have a bond that much I can tell." _

_ "Does the matrix give you that information?" _

_ "yes." I nod twisting my head back to glance at the ship. "and so does my bond." I say with a smile. "Once you are bonded you can feel the energy field of a bond near you…the way it eddies and ebbs. How it peeks and falls. You can't connect into it, but you know it's there."_

_ "How?"_

_ "It's like an ambient temperature sensor…that's only a few degrees off your other sensors ... it's not a problem, but you are constantly aware." I nod "its just enough to make your other sensors tingle."_

_ Mirage nodded "How's Ironhide taken to the bond?"_

_ "It's a bit harder on him, he's not only bonded to me but the Matrix as well." I say softly "It was not enough for me to want him, it had to want him too…The Matrix had to deem him worthy of such a bond."_

_ "To a Prime that's a big thing Sir." He nodded slowly. _

_ I cannot argue that either "I suppose it is." I smile "I suppose it is."_

_

* * *

_

"Ironhide I must admit they look…" My digit trails over the pod slowly.

"Just like me I know." Ironhide chuckles as he sits back holding the little femme in his arms I come to realize; I love her, I cannot explain but I do. She is part of Mirage and by extension part of myself.

"She is so beautiful." I murmur quietly I personally have never seen one so young before. The hatchlings even younger than her, all of them our future, one we once thought was past us all.

"Yeah she is…little sparkbreaker…my little sparkbreaker." He lifts her up and her servos wave at him and she worbles out little vocals. Clicks, chirps, and whistles to the only creator she has ever known.

Looking down at the pods I sigh softly and lean back against the wall just watching the twins as they float. "Something's on yer processor." I look up meeting Ironhide's gaze, we were never close but he knows me as well as Prime due to their bond and it's just as easy to speak with him now as Prime.

"I just wish-" I cannot bring myself to finish the statement.

"That you'd known about the kid and how you feel about him sooner?" Ironhide has me pegged as he nods "Yeah well…" he sighs "I don't know how to not sound selfish but Prime and I love her." He says softly "She's …she's become our daughter." There's a concern in his voice that he might loose her and I want to steam his fears before they get worse.

I hold up my hand to stop his protest "we know that…." I say with all the conviction I can muster "She will stay your daughter." I nod "We have no intention of taking her from you or Prime…But we must make a show of this …to convince the decepticons that Mirage is keeping her with the Autobots."

"You going to bond with Mirage?" The question hits my tanks with a thud.

"It hasn't come up."

Ironhide smiles at me. "Perhaps it should…" he smiles "You're good for him."

"Is that what you think?" I ask.

"It's what we both think"

"You and Prime?"

A nod answers my question and he smiles. "Prime says Mirage seems more together than he ever has."

"We talk." I nod "Well he talks I listen…I was always a good listener."

Ironhide smiles at me. "High Grade?" He stands looking at the pods petting them slowly. I feel the conversation has detoured and I blink my optic-shutters.

"Sure but what about Slickdrift?" I shrug.

"Ah Slick wants to go see uncle Ratchet."

Her face beams and she claps excitedly. I chuckle "Well…she's taken to him hasn't she?" She chirps out Ironhide's name in Cybertronian and I blink. "Smart one."

"Her first days of life were spent here, near Mirage, in Ratchet's care." Ironhide gave a curt nod. "She loves him if only second to me…" Ironhide tosses her up slightly and catches her as she comes back into his hands "And she's going to be the smartest Femme around…with teachers like Prowl and Ratchet."

"Wheeljack?" I question.

"Not without supervision." He chuckles "Don't want her in a billion pieces." He smiles softly tossing her up again to catch her.

"And when did you and Prime—" I don't need to finish he cuts me off before I can. Turning to me he smiles and speaks.

"Seven months after. Then we moved into command quarters for more space for Slick." He explains more as we move to the medical bay office. "Then we bonded, which apparently Primes are Auto-sparked upon a bond." He sighs "Them or their partner."

"And you didn't know about that?" I ask blinking my optic shutters; I knew that. Prime should have been the first to know that information.

"Yeah well heat of the moment." Ironhide shrugs casting off my querie. With a smirk he knocks on the open door frame to the medical office.

"Ironhide…"Ratchet stands slowly "Primus, is that you Magnus?"

"It is." I duck my head slightly to enter the room and smile down to him. "Good to see you again Ratchet."

"You as well…" An exchange of servos and a smile between us, I'm sure we'll talk later about all this.

"We were eh…going to get some high grade." Ironhide offers Slickdrift slightly toward the medic. "Would ya mind?" Ironhide smiles brightly to Ratchet and I know I've never seen such a contrived look on him before.

"Of course I don't mind." Ratchet grasps her up and she starts to grab at the roll bar across his chassis crawling on it like human children do a playground. "Easy sweetspark I'm not a play facility."

With a smirk Ironhide leans forward letting his hand trail over her little helm "I'll be back ok?" he sounds so soft for such a gruff mech. "love ya Slick." He smiles and looks to Ratchet "Prime'll be by in a bit for her."

Ratchet nodded slowly "He can take his time." His bright optics turn to the femme. "I needed a break anyway." The medic looks like he's in heaven. I'm sure he'd make a great sire, if he could find a partner or had the time. He's so busy in here all the time I highly doubt the mech gets a moment's peace.

"Slick." Ironhide reached up pulling her down off the tire over Ratchet's right shoulder handing her back to the medic. "Behave." Ironhide reprimanded before motioning me to follow him out.

"Things are going to get slag covered in the next few days. With Slick's upgrade and double-dealer coming for her…" Ironhide's speech faulters.

"It will be alright my friend." I place a firm hand on his shoulder. "She's going to be here with you."

"I know." He turns down the far hall to the rec room. The doors hiss open and I spot my men. Stampy and Apache are with Prowl and Wheeljack at a far table. They are in their robot modes; this place is far lesser a risk of energon radiation on their systems than Alexia had been.

"Magnus." That voice. I turn my head and smile down.

"Hey." I smile meeting his optics "How was your talk with Prime?"

A smile and a shrug "Was fine."

"We were just going to get some High Grade…you uh…wanna join us?" Ironhide turns to my partner who smiles back at him.

"Where's Slickdrift?" Mirage asks me with a voice filled with concern.

"With Ratchet." I smile and put my arm around his shoulders and lead him through the noisy room to the energon dispensary. "Come on let's relax."

Walking past the table where Apache and Slick are I smile down at the small group Mirage just to my left. "How are the reports coming gentlemechs?" I ask softly.

"Long done with Sir." Stampy says nestled against Apache in an odd sort of way. Apache isn't reciprocating the closeness but I note he's not pushing the rabbit away either.

"I was just telling our friends I have quarters for you all. Optimus has requested that I place you in command quarters near him for the safety of everyone involved." Prowl with his simple smile.

"Of course that's fine…and the others?"

"Apache and Stampy will share a room on the command level as well. But father back near the hanger bays."

"An me?" Mirage asked.

Prowl looked to Wheeljack and shook his head. His attention returned to Mirage as he spoke quietly. "I had you with Magnus in the command quarters…would you like a private room? It can be arranged."

I grasp onto Mirage's servo and shake my head "That won't be necessary." I say softly and turn "Thank you Prowl, enjoy your evening mechs." I say and pull Mirage with me toward Ironhide.

"But we just started …" Miarage keeps his voice low as he speaks to me.

Cutting him off I reach out to take a cube from Ironhide and pass it down to Mirage. "And we'll continue to…" I say with an amount of finiteness that makes the energon rush to his cheek plates. Taking he cube from me he smiled and turned to speak with Jazz a moment.

"You two are a good match." Ironhide says drawing me out of my facination with my new partner.

"Thank you." It's all I can think to say.

"No really." Ironhide said quietly. "When Prime told me I didn't think anything of it, but the way you look at him, and the way he looks at you…I've never seen that kid so happy." Ironhide took a drink of his cube as we watched Mirage sit by Jazz to chatter away.

I look at Ironhide now who's gaze has moved to his feet. He's lifted up his legs slightly making sure each little stabilizer on his foot is working. "Something on your mind?" I break in.

"I uh went on a scouting mission." He turns to move and I motion to Mirage I'm going with him. I get a nod of consent and follow Ironhide.

Sitting down at a table in the back corner of the room I watch him sit. "Go on."

"There was a con there…little one…no bigger than slick…" I take a sip of my high grade and wait quietly. "He said something about coming for Prime…for my children…" he shifts uncomfortably. "And I just have this awful sense of …fear. " It's a very hard admission for him. Something he wouldn't tell just anyone, I feel honored he's speaking to me so candidly. " They know too much…they know what's going on in these very walls." Ironhide says softly. "I don't know who to trust outside Prime…you." He says glancing at me as he takes a sip of his drink.

I wait a few moments considering his words "And you've spoken to Prime?" He looks at me like I'm an idiot and I nod "Of course you have." I take a drink and then look across to him "What's Prime think?"

"That I'm being paranoid." He scoffs "I'm not paranoid."

"Of course not." I've got a slightly condescending tone as I chuckle "But do you have any evidence besides what the Con told you?" He shakes his head "Without evidence Prowl won't investigate."

"I know that…" Ironhide hisses at me.

"Look Hide…I'll go with you on your next patrol…take me to where you found him…I'll see what I can dig up in that area." I say softly. "Okay?"

He nods "0800 hours tomorrow morning I'll meet you on the command deck." Ironhide smiles as the doors to the rec room open and Prime walks in.

"Sounds like a plan." I stand and vacate my seat as Prime approches "Sir." I say nodding.

"Going out hunting tomorrow are we?" He questions me.

"To put an old mech's mind at ease." I smile at Ironhide and lean back avoiding the cube that he launches at me. "Getting closer…" I smirk. "Think I'll grab Mirage and we'll…turn in. Thanks for the talk Ironhide."

"No problem." He looks at Prime slowly "Hows Ratch?"

"Sends his love…says he's keeping her…" He shakes his head with a chuckle and I step out of audio shot.

Moving up beside Jazz I put my hand on Mirage's shoulder "Come on it's been a long day and you need the recharge as much as I." I smile to Jazz. "Good to see you again Lieutenant."

"Commander" Jazz flashes me a smile as Mirage stands to follow me. "Good night."

"Good Night" I smile and put a hand on Mirage's lower back-strut and lead him out of the crowded room.


	8. Taking back…

Choice

Chapter 8: Taking back…

This is a very short update….it was part of the last chapter but it seemed out of place. It's important that this bit be set apart because of how strong the tones are and how important it is for you to understand not only Optimus' pain, but Mirage's reservations. Magnus and Ironhide are strong pillars here, one eager and one trying to hold everything in place. I'm playing with emotions and I know that's hard for some of you because you don't' understand, but all will be made clear soon; rest assured.

IRONHIDE  
_MIRAGE_

* * *

We stand on the precipice of a great decision. A decision that will change the both of us forever: we've hit the impasse where we have to give her up. "He would come around with Magnus." I say softly. "They could be happy together…They could be a family."

"We are a family Ironhide. Don't make me choose." He says solemnly. He doesn't need to look at me for me to see the fear in his optics. Kneeling before him I press air out my manifold to the many vents in my body in a deep sigh. "I cannot –" he doesn't finish.

I draw him to myself pulling our chassis together lowering his head upon my shoulder strut. "Optimus…" I look past him to the little containment berth beside our own. I wonder what to say but I know this is the right thing to do. "He is her sire, not you." I start leaning back "And we have two young mechlings that will need our full and undivided attention."

He shakes his head softly releasing the torrent of emotion he's been keeping buried in himself. I quake a moment at the tempest that I cannot afford to block. "I know you love her." I continue. "I love her too." I falter with my words, my servos reaching up to slowly stroke the metal stacks over his shoulders. "She's not ours."

"He…" Optimus starts but once again he cannot find his voice he's torn inside and I can feel how genuinely spark-broken he is.

"He is her sire." I say softly "We just helped her along when he needed time to adjust." My body shifts back and I look up into his optics. "Optimus you know as well as I that this is the right course of action." I have trouble voicing it but I know it's right I can feel it in my spark, as much as it soothes me that she will return to her rightful creator, it hurts, Primus it hurts. "This is right."

"That doesn't mean I have to like it." Optimus attempts to turn his head away and I catch it with my servo not allowing him to leave my optics. "Hide…"

"Please." I plead with him on all levels of our connection. "We'll be fine." I assure him. "She needs to be with Mirage…She knows he's her sire as much as we do. Their bond is strong." I say trying to come up with something intelligent to say but I find I cannot. "Trash and Quill need us." I say "Two mechlings who you will love with just as much passion and conviction."

He nods looking into my optics. "Yes…" he says with a smile. "I know and I already love them like I love her…. if it were one of them I would be just as …emotional." I smile and take his servo.

"I wouldn't expect any less."

"Alright." He says. "Have Prowl draw up the data-pad for the transfer back." I feel him start to shutter. Leaning up I take him in my arms and I don't let him say anymore. I just hold him until his tremors stop.

* * *

_We sit in our temporary quarters. Watching them on the floor is almost fascinating. Magnus sits holding a few small cubes stacking them and she with her tiny little servos that mimic mine reaches out to cause them to disappear. "Didn't know she could do that." Magnus looks at me. _

_I stand and walk over to Magnus and look down at her bright optics. Extending my hand to Magnus I put a cloak over him. She giggles and claps and I release the cloak making him reappear before her. "You should hold her." Magnus reaches up drawing my arm down and I kneel beside him. "I know you're scared but she's not going to hurt you." _

_ "I held her once. When she was mere days old." I tip my head down and smile reaching out with my hand breaking her cloak on the cubes. She reaches forward and pushes them over. She giggles and claps. _

_ "She's great." Magnus leans back on his servos legs extended out before him. She's across from me and we're both on his left side. I look at him with a type of skepticism that I didn't think possible. "No really." He smiles._

_ "She looks just like him." I add quietly._

_ He reaches around me drawing me closer, and we kiss; as he breaks back he speaks with seriousness. "She is not Double-Dealer"_

_ "I know that…"_

_ "Do you?" That makes me slightly angry and I tense in his arms. "Easy, I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings." I am about to say something when little servos grasp to my legs pulling up into my lap. "Hi there." Magnus draws his other arm around sitting up; placing her between us. _

_ She stands on my legs and I put out a hand to guard her from falling. She clutches to my chassis and just holds tightly. "She knows I'm her sire…her true sire doesn't she?" I look up._

_ Magnus smiles running a single digit over her cheek plate. "Yes." He smiles to me. His tone turns serious as he meets my optics. "Bond with me?" he reaches up a servo to draw me into a kiss, mindful of my hatchling between us._

_ I return the kiss softly but draw back slowly looking at him with slight fear. "I don't…" I shrug "I wouldn't know…" I have no idea how to answer him. I will not say no, but I cannot say yes._

_ "I know we are still…. new." he says "But when I look at you…" he smiles lifting the little up one up higher on my chassis "When I look at her." I nod softly "I can't be without either." _

_ The lights dim and the klaxons sound round the ship. "Code Red decepticons on the perimeter." Prowl's voice "Code red…commanders to the bridge." _

_ "Come on." Magnus stands._

_ "What of her?" I ask standing keeping her against my chassis. _

_ He smiles "Bring her." He nods "This likely concerns her." He offers me his Servo and I smile with a nod and take it looking down. Slickdrift is recharging against my chassis and my spark thrums in beat with hers. My vents catch a moment and I look up to Magnus who leans down pressing his lip plates to my own in a hot kiss. Sparks spill between our mouths in a threaded passion and I step back. "You're right." He smiles "When we get back…" he grasps my hand and leads me out "Come on." _

_ Looking into his optics and then down to her recharging form against me I smile. I can do this, I think, I can do this._


	9. Oracle

Choice

Chapter 9: Oracle

* * *

Prowl entered the workshop with easy steps. Servos folded behind his back. He looked this way and that. "Wheeljack?" he questioned.

"Hang on a moment." A crashing sound as the engineer came out from behind a small stack of parts. "Sorry I was just taking an inventory." He smiled setting down his data pad. "What-uh-" rubbing the back of his neck joint with his servo the engineer stammered. "Can I help you with sir?" Prowl couldn't help a rueful smile that was so easily returned.

"It's just Prowl please." Prowl pursed his lip plates drawing the smile away and stepped forward "I need to send a long distance communiqué over a private encrypted channel, can you help me with that?"

"Of course Sir…I mean Prowl. " he nodded to himself to remember to use the commander's designation, and motioned Prowl to the back of the room. "I'm sorry my labs a mess I'll be cleaning after my inventory I assure you." He slid down into his seat behind his computer consol. Reaching out he grabbed a stack of data pads and shoved them into a plastic bin on the floor and moved a few parts out of the way to clear the console. "So where are we sending this message?"

"To Ornta four." Prowl said softly leaning down along side Wheeljack, a servo propping him up on the console.

"But that's where-" his concern was almost a whisper as his servo met the commander's forearm. "are you sure?"

"Yes I know …prepare the message." Prowl said with a smile. Wheeljack looked up at him and then nodded turning back to the console. Pulling his arm back to clatter his digits over the controls.

"Prowl?"

"Yes?"

Wheeljack pressed his chair back a moment. "I'll prep this for you to record…but after it's sent can we…can we talk?" Wheeljack didn't even look up asking the question. His headfins blinked with each quiet word.

Prowl tried to steady his door wings as they fluttered involuntarily; the engineer never saw. "Yes of course." Wheeljack pulling himself back up to the computer began to write the encryption for the message.

"I sure hope you know what you're doing boss."

"Me too Jack…me too." Prowl said with all seriousness as his free hand slid over the engineers shoulders as they both watched the monitor.

* * *

Mirage stood next to Magnus servo in servo. "I am nervous." He said softly.

"I know and it'll be fine I promise." Magnus held Slickdrift to his chassis looking down at her as she held tightly onto the servo digit of the servo clasped around her, making warbling noises at him.

"My friends." Ironhide opened the doors slowly "It's time." He said softly.

"How many?" Magnus asked turning.

"Too many." He said and looked at Slick with pain stricken optics. "I'm not sure what to do anymore…"

Optimus appeared behind Ironhide. "We have a visitor."

"Tons…" Ironhide shook his head with a snort as if that statement were just contrary.

"No Love…. an Oracle." Optimus said firmly. "Lets not keep her waiting."

"Those still exist?" Ironhide looked at Magnus in almost awe. "Primus."

"Apparently." Optimus nodded and reached out for Ironhide to follow him "Calls herself Iona"

"Iona…she's the arch of the bonds." Ironhide shook his head "Why would she come all the way out here?"

"That's a good question to ask." Magnus stepped forward "Lets go ask her."

"Agreed." Optimus nodded and reached out his hands for Slickdrift. The little one smiled and slid easily into Prime's hands. "Hey." He said down to her and she chirped at him faster than anyone could register. "I see…is that so?"

It was all just blabber but he indulged her still. Magnus smiled. "Do I look like that holding her?" He looked at Magnus.

"No." Mirage said to his relief but before the commander could get to far Mirage took two steps ahead "you're worse." He chuckled.

"That…" Magnus protested. "Is not fair."

Ironhide put a hand on Magnus' shoulder as the two fell behind Optimus and Mirage. "Old adage…life's not fair." He laughed.

"But it sure does present you with nice things." He said looking to Mirage.

"That's for certain." Ironhide said with a nod at Optimus. "Sometimes ones we could not even see."

* * *

Prowl stood next to Wheeljack quietly. The femme before them was ethereal radiating light and sound; as she hovered just above the floor. The light wasn't blinding but it certainly made one dim their optics. The sounds she radiated were almost like voices but you couldn't make out one from another. She was laying hands on them and then smiled leaning back. "So very lucky indeed…such a love is rare." Withdrawing her hands she observed the two mechs with a silent calm that seemed to lay over the two.

"It's still very new." Prowl protested with his servos up, as his servos fell to his sides, one was grasped onto tightly.

"It is a strong love and will make a wonderful bond." She smiles then turns to face the four mechs as they filed in."Ah I see this is our dilemma." They descended the small ramp to where she stood. "I am Iona Oracle of Primus…. I was summoned by Prowl here to speak on behalf of the Hatchling known as Slickdrift."

Mirage looked at Prowl like he'd been betrayed. "What?"

Magnus touched his arm. "Easy she's an oracle," he said softly pulling Mirage back to himself. "Easy…" He repeated quietly.

"I understand your concerns." She said stepping forward to Prime. "I understand the spark-break in all this." She frowned softly a hand touching Slickdrift's helm. "I will do my best to draw a true conclusion to the matter. Primus has seen to grant me with many things." She nods. "I will be an outsider in your discussions with the Decepticons but should I need to interject to keep the peace during this I shall. She is truly loved here I can feel it from all your sparks."

She looked at Magnus "Some more than others." She smiled.

Magnus looked down at Mirage "I love them both."

"I know." She said softly "Such conviction." She observed him "It's nice to see it." She turned to Ironhide "And you…. have the same such conviction."

Ironhide nodded. "Yes…Give my life for him and the little ones. All three of em." Ironhide said stepping forward ahead of Prime to face her.

"Yes." She smiled softly looking amongst them. "I will do what I can to help mitigate this." Her head turned to Prime whose gaze was fixed on Prowl. "He did the right thing, do not be angry with him."

Optimus looked to her and nodded. "You get that pride from Sentinel." She smiled touching Optimus' helm. "He passed that along to you with the matrix." She chuckled turning. "Prowl Wheeljack…make sure the Autobots are all within the base…"

"But if the Cons try to do anything?" Wheeljack protested immediately.

"I have the power to deal with them…the Oracles of Primus could end this war if we so chose, but hatchlings all of you must understand that you are one people." Prime lowered his head. "This will end one way or anther but you must figure it out on your own." She said firmly "It is only our way to show you the path, not walk it for you."

Wheeljack smiled at Prowl "lets get everyone inside."

"Ok." Prowl nodded and started to walk out slowly. Wheeljack trotted to keep up with him and the two exited the room silently.

"They will come, and there will be a discussion between the creator and I." she said patting Slickdrift's head. "Should I feel his parentage is unworthy…I will rectify this situation."

Magnus looked up "How do you plan to do that?"

"Ultra Magnus that question would intone that I had decided to do it already, and I have not. Now…" She regarded the four carefully. "Hatchlings all." She looked them over slowly. "I resign you away …together …the four of you and the little one you have your own emotions to work out." She smiled at them "Be joyous." Her optics darted to Magnus. "Be gracious." She said to Mirage turning to Prime. "Understand." She said quietly and moved to Ironhide. "Be thankful."

"But why you...why the Arch of Bonds?" Magnus asked his head shaking softly "That doesn't make sense."

"All things will in time...now go...I will be teleporting outside to speak with the Decepticons, you will know when the time is right to join me outside." She smiled and motioned Ironhide to take them all out of the room.

Ironhide nodded to her turning to put his servo under Prime's arm and turned to help escort him away. "Come on Magnus, we'll go to our quarters they're just a door away."

"All right." Magnus stopped before Iona once more. "Thank you." He nodded slowly. "For everything."

"Thank Mirage." She smiled and turned to face the main view screen as the command center was vacated.

* * *

Once they were away she fizzled into not existance and she appeared upon the field infront of the Autobot ship before a mass of 25 Decepticons in both the Air and on the land. Looking them over she waited quietly knowing that it was only a matter of time.

"Come out Hatchling." she said firmly. "You've seen me before."

Megatron made his way to the front of the crowd with Double-dealer close behind "What is the meaning of this?" he growled.

Holding up a servo to stop his angered voice she waited a moment. "I am Iona Oracle of Primas the Arch of Bonds...but you know who I am." she said softly looking around "Some of your bonds are strained and some." she eyed Megatron "Are strong...This discussion will be between myself, Mirage, and Double-Dealer." She was firm "no others will be allow admittance tell the rest of your Hatchling army to go back to their ship."

"And his hatchling what of it?" Megatron pointed to Double-dealer.

"it will remain with me until a decision is made...You will know when it will be time." She fizzled out of exisitance once more.

"We should just volley the ship." Starscream scoffed.

"No." Double-dealer shook his head. "You'll hurt her."

"An Oracle's involved." Megatron said "Even I know when it's best to not do things that are stupid..." He motioned his servo "Everyone back to the ship." Turning to Double-dealer and Starscream he shook his head "you two stay here."

A mech lingered behind them. Double-dealer turned and nodded. "Go on back Crankcase I'll get her."

The timid mech nodded and turned moving away with the rest of the Decepticons to go back to the Nemesis. Double-dealer looked up "I can feel her." he said looking to the Ark. "She's there." Folding his arms over his breast plate Double-dealer shook his head "This is ridiculous."

Megatron shook his head "Indeed." he purred softly.


	10. It was not a choice

Choice

Chapter 10: It was not a choice

And it's done! OMG THANKS GUYS!

* * *

I pace for lack of anything better to do. It's been almost a Joor, and nothing has changed. They are far beyond visual range and they speak where no one can hear them. My frustration mounts as I collapse down onto a waiting rock. "It's going to be fine." I don't know if Prime is saying this for himself or for me but I nod in response.

Lowering my head into my servos I beg Primus for calm. I am on such an edge right now. I hate not knowing what's going on, and never before have I felt so helpless.

"She's coming back." Ironhide said standing. "She's carrying Mirage and the little one."

"What?" I stand in shock of the statement "What's happened?" I'm overcome with grief and panic. Ironhide turns to me and presses me back to Prime "Stay." He orders and I shake my head. "Magnus." He stills and is quiet "Stay." Reluctantly I nod and stand near prime who grasps my arm keeping me there with him as Ironhide moves out to Iona. She looks ghostly holding their bodies. Mirage in her arms and Slick against his chassis; she is grey and proto-form only, her armor gone and I worry that she is offline.

"What's happened?" I ask as Ironhide leads her up the ramp "Tell me!" I demand. The shock of seeing her holding their limp bodies concerning me.

"Come inside." She says of me. "All will be answered shortly."

"What's wrong with her?" Ironhide asked quietly of Slick's grey body.

"The bond with her creator is broken …only the bond with her sire remains…I must establish a bond with someone worthy of her." I come to the fore. "I must reestablish her code."

"Me." I state.

"That was the intention." Iona smiles at me and waits for Ironhide to open the cargo bay doors. "Come inside."

"What of the Decepticons?" Ironhide asked.

"Megatron will not cross you while I am here…he has taken his charges and returned to his ship." She smiles "I will attend to their sparks next." She was completely indifferent to our war; she was a true outsider, not taking sides.

"So you removed her bond with Double-dealer?" Prime asks quietly trying to keep up with me.

"Yes, she is reverted to her proto-form for now, she is alive but I will need to bond Magnus and Mirage together and bond Magnus to the hatchling." My intakes hitch and I stop.

"She'd …." I can't go on.

"She will be of your code…you shall be her creator."

"You can do that?" Ironhide asked looking about as dumbfounded as myself. "But she was created by Double-dealer's spark."

"She is in stasis while I see to that." She walked past Ironhide "Like her sire."

I stayed with her closely. "What must I do?" I was desperate and seeing their slack bodies made me cringe for a moment. "I'll do anything."

She looked to Ironhide "We need private quarters." She said "the three of them and I."

I looked to Ironhide who nodded "You can use ours." Prime nodded again staying close to me trying to keep me calm. The walk down that corridor was only 200 yards, but it was indeed the longest stretch of corridor I had ever been in.

"It will be fine." Prime reminded me.

"This should be you." I say to him quietly.

"No it shouldn't." Prime doesn't mean those words but he understands the weight of the situation. "That's your family she is holding…go complete yourself." Prime's smile is genuine though he is spark-broken. I nod and turn embracing him once before turning to make my way to the oracle's side.

Standing beside her rattles your sensor net, it makes you tingle. She's got power unlike anything I have ever seen, and she's old, older than we might calculate. To her I am but a child, a hatchling. I am not worthy of such service by her. Turning to the room Ironhide stands to one side holding the door open. She enters and I follow. The door sealing behind us, effectively, locking the rest of the world outside.

She moves with a grace befitting a human Angel, and I look at her with desperate eyes "What must I do." I am willing to do anything and she knows as well as I the limits of that request.

"Sit down upon the lounger." She says and I obey. She lays mirage down his helm in my lap. Pivoting slightly she lifts Slickdrift up holding her limp body. "They are both in stasis because he is regulating her systems solely on his own. I am going to Bond you to him and then bond you to her."

"Has that ever been done?"

"Only an oracle can reformat." She smiles at me. "You know this Ultra Magnus." She sets Slickdrift down on the small table laying her flat. Pressing Mirage upright she turns him to face me. I'm nervous because I have no idea what is going on, a spark-merge and connection that is necessary in a bond is a personal thing and I fear having to open myself before her and merge with Mirage while he's not conscious to remember.

"He chose you to be his Bonded." Her words melt into me and my lines warm to the sound of that. His optics lid slowly and he comes online his body is still but his optics move to mine. I take up his servos and wait patiently. "Do you choose him?"

I don't miss a beat "I do." It aches as I watch his optics. "How do you feel?" I ask and he melts against my armor in a slump. He's weak and I know why; it is as she had said, he's regulating her body as well as his own and she's far too big for that. It's a taxing job.

He doesn't respond, he only nods; an affirmation of his status. I look up to her in question not sure what I do now. Her servos flash white as she comes between us each servo cresting to meet my torso plate and his. I can feel my body head now, my engine drops a gear and I shutter. I was not prepared for such a strong feeling. We've merged before, but not like this; Primus not like this.

* * *

Magnus snapped back in his seated position as his plates were forced open against his will. His processor was hot and his optics flashed yellow. Mirage was having problems, all his own, as his body snapped up erect and his hands wove into the side seams of Magnus' hip plates. Iona smiled as she came closer reaching between them her servos rubbed together as Mirage opened up his torso plate.

Magnus could feel the recessed ports burn as they snaked their cables out of his body and moved with what felt like a mind all their own. "Calm down Magnus." Iona whispered softly. "Calm down…close your optics, become him. Allow him to become you."

Mirage's optics closed softly as he struggled against his burning cables to not rush this. His mind was a wash and his hud was flashing warnings all over. "Bound to one another…in the name of Primus." The oracle said quietly. "In the name of Primus…for all of time." The words echoed in their minds and it was in that moment that the cable that snaked from Ultra Magnus met with Mirage's and their bodies snapped against one another programming taking over as they pressed their helms together in one final coherent movement.

The overload and reboot, neither would remember, but awaking feeling the bonds was something wholly different. It would be something that would change them forever nothing would be the same.

* * *

Magnus came around slowly with a groan, optics darting around. He was in a berth alone flat on his back-strut. He remembered Iona and being with Slickdrift and Mirage but nothing more. "I'm glad you're awake." His head snapped to the side to see Mirage holding the femme in his arms.

A smile and Magnus motioned him over. "Let me look at her." Magnus insisted.

"She's not the same as she was…I mean she is still Slickdrift she remembers everything that's happened to her, but her overall programming her body is different. Her code is different now."

"What do you mean her code is different?" Magnus looked up swinging his legs over the edge of the berth as Mirage sat beside him. The conversation with Iona long from his processor. He smiled as the little femme turned to him; she was now mostly white, with blue accents. "Primus…"

"You get it now." Mirage said quietly. "Any part of her that was double-dealer is gone."

A nod from the shocked mech, and a smile as she reached for him crawling into his waiting arms. "Hello little one…Slickdrif…my Slickdrift." He smiled as she grasped onto his torso glass pulling herself ever closer to her creator's spark. "I love you." He said softly to her as he'd said it in the past, but now it meant something much more, she wasn't just Mirage's she was theirs and only the act of the Oracle, only this act of Primus was able to do this. It was more than they ever asked for, more than they deserved.

His adoration was met with chirps and clicks. Mirage leaned against him. "I never knew you felt so strongly."

A nod as the larger mech reached around Mirage pulling him closer. "I'm not good with words …I never was." A smirk as he looked down "We're bonded now…you can feel what I feel without me having to explain it."

Mirage finding his sense of humor nodded "Kinda brings new meaning to the term quick engagement."

"I don't remember most of it." Magnus frowned his large digits ran over Slicks newly reformatted face, he was in awe of how much she looked like himself. Like looking into a mirror; looking over her helm he smiled at her high audio finials.

"Me either, but the Oracle said the processor fog was only temporary, one day we might remember." Mirage smiled as the little one crawled back into the larger mech's arms. "She gets her first upgrade just before we leave."

"All right." Magnus smiled "What does that entail I've not had a hatchling before."

"A lot." Mirage chuckled softly. "We'll get through it."

A soft sound as magnus shifted her slowly in his hands. "We'll need to get back to Alexia soon."

"I know…Stamp and Apache said we could take as long as we needed and they would head back to relieve Packrat and Gears."

Magnus smiled. "How is Apache taking all this?"

"He shook my servo…and said he was happy for us." Mirage stood slowly and stretched himself out. "He was sincere." Moving to stand by the door.

"You think so?"

"He punched me in the face…." Mirage chuckled "He looked me square in the eye and meant every word…trust me I think he's over you…maybe not fully but our bond will quell any doubts he may have of you in his future." A nod. "Besides I think him and Stampy…" Mirage trailed off.

"No…" Magnus smiled in disbelief. "Really?"

"Oh yeah…." Mirage waved a hand in front of himself. "Willing to be my high-grade ration."

"You're on." Magnus said standing moving to Mirage with quick deliberate steps pulling the lithe mech to him. "I love you."

Taking Slickdrift back into his arms Mirage nodded. "I love you too."

"I'm glad you chose me." Magnus murmured leaning down to meet the smaller mech's lips.

"That's just the thing." Mirage smiled "With you…it wasn't a choice…it just…was." They kissed softly and somehow knew that everything would be all right, that everything would work itself out in the end. Slickdrift finding the attention was no longer on her began to chirp out sounds to break her creator's attention from her sire to her.

"You …are spoiled already." Magnus nodded. "Just the way you should be." He took her back with a smile looking at Mirage Magnus nodded "It was always your choice…. no one else could have made it for you."

"But you had to accept it."

"Like you said…" a brightened smile as he lifted up Slick in his arms to face her with soft optics. "It wasn't a choice…"

* * *

The end.


End file.
